#1541 essayez encore

each day is a coffee cup liner
you roll up the rim
and we should be excited each day we get the opportubtiy ti essayez encore/play again
donuts and new vehicles
are shit prizes compared to another day of teeth-brushing and friend-chatting, and stranger-meeting
so roll up your rim
and live life like you might not get the chance to essayez encone/play again

#1540 carpenters

we pay carpenters to build these walls to hold our junk
stuff attached to cords that fits in the walls we bought
memories we change by trying to contain
in an 8 by 10 glass and cardboard box we hang on the walls we bought
seats and chairs we think we earned
security is not a word spoken or known by the lion or the rabbit
we push the furnitures so their backs are up against the walls
looking out, not unlike the bear's cave
public spaces are just inside the door we open to strangers
the private we hide at the back
bedrooms and ugly bathrooms

the guns in these vains are discharging
no one hears them but the ears in my aorta
i'm alone in this world of loners
a stone in this field of stoners
the lost and found bucket is full of forgotten possessions
where can i find my passions and obsessions
i speed to speed and work to work
we need a wrecking ball to crush these walls into beautiful rubble
memories of our imaginary secure bubble

joseph was a carpenter
built things from trees with his two hands
with callouses for a source of power

when we fill our walls with stuff made in foreign countries
we move into bigger walls
i say burn the moving boxes filled with toxic
stop
listen to our hearts speak truth at 58 beats a minute
57
56
55
hug a sinner and high five a saint
home is the volume knob turned low enough to listen to our hearts beat
all the human hearts on this here Earth beat-beating all at once
a roar louder than the gunfire in some country we can't spell

#1539 hard truths and soft hearts

you be you and i'll be me me
then our truth shall set us free

you be you you and then we'll see
if we can swallow that bumblebee

you be you, i'll be me
that same day we'll be we

we'll be we and the world will see
our truth will set us free

these shackles are but a dream
know matter how cold and heavy they seem

blink your eyes and throw them away
collect the bill Truth will pay

you be you and i'll be me
collect the bill Truth will pay

#1538 love along the river

i been in love half a dozen times before
but it turned to re-runs and it turned to war
i don't talk to them no more
i bought this here ring for that there finger
promising that our love will always more than linger

when i met you you had edge
dancing blidfolded on some planet's edge
but like a river stone
over time the sharp spots wore down smooth
now i can hold you to my chest

#1537 Christ

And jesus you helped me through my childhood, you and Mother Mary

Like the tooth fairy, You were there when I got my teeth knocked out

You were both lies

That I thought about with my mind on my pre-adolescent pillow

Just some 2000+ year old memory of a man a bit unhinged

A loser with a strange idea

A kid with a strange ideas about men helping men

A kid with a dad with a violent past

I could get some followers if I could use daddy’s magic to walk on water

Then turn the water to whine

Just a flip-flop wearing beard come from a Momma

With the world’s most famous lie

(Joseph got some somewhere)

The tooth fairy give me loose change

Jesus

You left me doubtin my heros and all the saviours

Left me wonderin if teachers and parents weren’t another lie

Like some giant bunny

Or some overweight man who lives north and visits the world once a year, squeezing through chimneys and fireplaces

Jesus you left me with a little voice in head, come from under my pillow

A voice that keeps tellin me how I ain’t worthy and that I’ll never be anything but dirty

Your momma might be the most famous lie, but you are the most powerful

2000years and still I’m trying to please ya despite the fact that I don’t believe in ya

you gave me satan and the lord’s prayer

the words of both, stuck in my head forever

wash my sins away with your wizardry and holy water

Jesus and the tooth fairy, where are you now

I’m laying in a back alley looking at my teeth in front of me on the asphlt broken through by a weed no one notices

And I sure would love to hear a father’s voice telling me I’m worthy

And I sure could use some change, in my life and under my pillow

#1536 prooofreader

how was i to know!
how? was i? to know?

in grade school we traded green grapes for storebought cookies
in junior high we started swapping strengths and weaknesses     
i the writer, you the mathematician
words my life, numbers your domain
we were there for each other's losses, keeping one another sane

how was i to know
that your heart was bleedin, not believin
that your thinker was thinkin in ink and
that your veins was rainin pains
how was i to know

how was i to know
that you forgot to indent your three paragraphs
that you split two infinitives
that you mismatched one subject-verb agreement
but more important you broke our agreement

you help me through math
i help you through proofreading
division for revision, revision for division
you broke our agreement
you split me infinitely
put a dent in my forever
how was i to know

your number was not up
nothing adds up like why did you do the take-away and remove yourself from this equation
you knew. you knew that what you did to the left side you had to do to the writer

you showed me a thousand proofs
well here's a proof for you
i'm still here
i'm still here
and...
you're not

we share a past, your life was a present, but my future is a lost tense
the subject verbed the object, you pushed the blade.
left me here alone
sentenced me to a fragment of what i was
depression and suicide are not grammar or math
these two negatives do not make no positive
today we are a vague pronoun reference
lost
i here and you there
and i hear you everywhere

i'd give my life to math to get your life back
if you'd have just given me the fucking letter
i could have fixed your feelings
edited your perspective
instead i'm left solving for X
where X is the unknown like
what was in your heart as you dotted your last period
did you proofread the page yourself
speak the words out loud
how was i to know

the lower case letter in the proper noun, the ir- in irregardless, the letter "a" in the word definately
worthless
worth less than the graphite your pencil sacrificed for your letter
worth less than any one of the tears my eyes cried for the memory of you
grammar and spelling are worth shit. the shit stain inside the toilet bowl that i threw up in after i got the phone call from the school counsellor
why was she calling me

how was i to know
how was i to know

#1535 worthwhile

there is a feeling
   hidden in the chords
a truth
   buried in the lyrics
a miracle
   in the pauses

a mix that makes you want to hit repeat
to re-experience the same thing again
in a new way

#1534 september

used to be he smiled as he headed down the drive for his first day
now, gone is the excitement, replaced with dread
how do we get the smile back?
how do we pull him in?
how do we send him home telling excited stories?
the job is ours

#1533 frock ponds and padded lillies

jump murderer, fly sheriff
master the cards
fabricate heaven

angels melt and snowmen dance
october skies
april puddles

rocking horses meet shotgun blasts
daytime dreams
beat nightime reverie

over an ocean
on the count of three
pulled by older arms
flying

#1532 jowls

behind the cheeks is potential
though one must search deep
behind the cheeks is promise and hope
buried deep
behind the squishy pinchable jowls
is my little man
studying you and everything else in his new world

#1531 spirit bear

in another time, she was a spiritual miracle
now she dumpster dives for Happy Meals
once the thing of prayers
now we've led her to hell
she is the white of purity
covered in compost scraps
and disposable diapers

#1530 all the best

perhaps you should go into carpentry
yes, a carpenter
you are creative and you like to work with your hands
you are a stickler for detail

perhaps you should go into carpentry
yes, a carpenter
you are particular and you enjoy the process
you love being outdoors

yes, a carpenter
but my wife no more
good carpentry is about hiding things
good companionship is not

#1529 fall

the sun is growing tired
her days are shrinking shorter
she sleeps in, then retires early
the leaves are stealing colour from her bedtimes

september is a bookend in the middle of a shelf
september is when we start hugging ourselves
no longer summer
winter not in sight

#1528 sticking together

God was throwing hockey sticks one day
one left, one right
one south, one north
when by divine coincidence
we ended up on this team of two
an unlikely combination that makes a an all-star team
i would not have chosen you, you would not have chosen me
but now, would i choose you/
i sher wood

#1527 thumbing

according to my phone, i've been standing at the end of this on-ramp for two hours
five cars have gone by
one waved
one stared
three avoided meeting my gaze
my mind is running out of distractions
listing the colours of the cars
singing forgotten jingles in my head
counting the change in my pocket
if i don't land a ride soon
the worries i left behind might catch up with me on this highway
maybe i'll walk
try to find an underpass

#1526 the one left standing

It must be quite a rush

From monkey-bar playgrounds to pub and bar parking lots

They stand tall and lead with their chests

Hoping for someone to look at them wrong

Then hands turn to fists

The same hands that once so tiny

Curled around their mothers’ fingers through reflex

These hands swing on the ends of arms like speeding wrecking balls

Aiming for human faces

Aiming for blood and bone and flesh

Are these people evil

These same boys and men go home and do kind things

Do errands for their mothers, kiss grandmothers goodbye

They help others, hold others, love others

Still they hunt, at 3pm then at 3 am

It  must be quite a rush

#1525 "the system is broken"

outdated and unwilling to change
people and politics and policies
barricading success

the occassional one achieves success
mistaking these barricades for hurdles

#1524 what can wait

the lawn the dishes the bathroom
the dishes the bathroom the car
the bathroom the car the bills

playing catch
writing a note
phoning a friend

#1523 a happy tragedy

music without words
can speak to parts language cannot
a different journey for each set of ears, each soul
music can grab us by the shirt at the sternum and throw us against the locker
of our least favourite year of school
music can hold us in its palm and raise us up above mountains and clouds
a world without music could be a happy world
but a tragedy

#1522 dessert

write on walls
break one beer bottle
when we say be careful, take risks
ask questions
take shit apart before you're sure of how to put it back together
run barefoot
eat dessert first
surround yourself with good people
help people in need
know that refusing to help is sometimes the best way to help
love who you see in the mirror
find and copy heros
find and be yourself
throw rocks in lakes
eat well
enjoy junk food
see the inside of the principal's office once

#1521 buzzer beaters

the senior boys jogged to the end line
ready to run lines
thinking the coach was upset because the coach said
put all the basketballs away
but as they lined up he said
no, play a game of 5-on-5, without a ball
awkward silence
until jerry (the team clown) dribbled an imaginary ball to centre
where he prepared to throw up a jump-ball
the other boys fell in with smiles
three-pointers were hit and missed
fouls were called and accused
benchwarmers deked starters
with ten minutes left, Coach shouts
now add a ball, but don't subtract any of the fun

#1520 hat's off

here's my hat, an old ball cap
i take it off to the young who worry about the world

youth who, spend more time in their head than in their body
to the young who count troubles at night instead of sheep
the mature young
who stress that the world is not the place it could be
who lose sleep to the day's injustices
to the young who feel too much
too much guilt
too much anxiety
too much responsibility
i was once you

(disclaimer: for those who don't want to hear advice
plug your ears and close your eyes)

i was once you, so i have some advice
the worst kind of advice
simple-sounding advice that i never followed

advice #1
go use your body
walk, run
carry, throw
build, haul
whatever
just bring yourself out of your head for a while
the brain is a miracle
so your body

advice #2
physically connect with others
hug all you can
you don't have to be good at it
at least high five
human interaction is amazing
enjoy it
skin-to-skin touch is as important to adults as to newborns

advice #3
smile
look up at the sky or the ceiling, and smile
fake it if you need to
remind yourself that body influences mind
that the brain is one part of the body

let me put my hat back where it belongs- on my head
i hope your body understands what my mouth has said

#1519 late august

the sunflowers reign high in the garden
the remaining peas a fading yellow
squeezing in another backyard fire
we huddle, hoodies donned
as the mountian tucks the sun in goodnight

#1518 heartwood

this empire is rotting
from the inside to the out
we grew too big too fast
just for the sake of growing

we are rotting
from our core to our skin
we buy and lie
selling ourselves out and lying to ourselves

the only way to heal?
start over
small, real

#1517 as the sun falls asleep behind the mountain

between the mountain's black and the sky's darkening grey
are two bands of more colour
bordering the mountin is a stripe of yellow, brilliant
and between it and the sky's grey, a light purple

no wait
the yellow changed to orange
and the purple grew deeper

#1516 schooling

it's saturday
he's 15, almost 17
cashes his part-time cheque
grossed out by the net difference between gross and net pay
goes to the store
buys the stuff that makes him cool
his spirit taxed by the difference between the price tag and the till
monday, he'll go to school
a place he thinks adults invented to torture him
unaware he is paying for it

#1515 balloons

canada day
birthdays
community days
we see the ballons float
up
up
drifting out of sight
i'm left wondering...
where do they all go
is there an enormous pile

#1514 fences

words are like barbed fences
keeping people in
keeping others out
marking boundaries
tearing flesh

#1513 if

we all do what we can
some days it's more, some days it's less
some days you're the baby, some days you're the man
we can't fix it all
can't always stop what's in motion
but we can nudge and shoulder
change the direction
if we do what we can

#1512 pre-adolesence

dilly-dallying along the lake
skipping stones and cutting the devil's throat
growing up along the way
watching ripples travel away from me
rings growing in succession
this world is great
that i were to visit again

#1511 life lesson from my dog in the park

i pause
her muscles are tensed
focused
ready
i throw the ball

as it sails
she runs so hard
that i feel the ground shake and hear it thump-thump-thump
a stampede of one
when she reaches the now bouncing ball
she tries to go from top speed
to zero
resulting in a tumble of dog and of dust
out of the dust
i see a high tail
the dust settles
revealing a proud smile

#1510 the game winner

i was in the seventh inning stretch of that stage of my life
pressure was building
having fouled off two fastballs
the count as 0 and 2
i dug in my front foot
tapped air twice with the bat
tugged the short bill of my helmet
stepped in with the rear foot
breath
ready

a pitch i wouldn't swing at if the count were revered
an unlikable pitch in the strike zone
i committed
a change-up
i reached out front
contact
that sweet sound
the ball shot up well over and past the heads of the infielders
then apexed
floating down
the leftfielder tracked it toward the track
watching, hoping
but the stitched ball landed on the other side of the fence
success

#1509 dollars and common sense

kids need less excess, more macklemore
stop being whore for
the media who putting there name in the mediocre
for to score
at the expense of us jokesters
what's the last thing you bought that you thought
would improve your life
mine was a camera for my wife
1500 i sqandered
now she takes pictures we save but never see
that camera make SLR short for slayer
slaying moments
posin chosen shots frozen
photo-shoppin
reality-choppin
i want
i want
i want
i want to be free of this stuff
we call it a nice little word: interest
what it means is we we payin banks to let us live beyond our means
we all wanna be free
free from stressin alone in the morning at three
mournin our freedom, freedom we never had
we all wanna be free
free of the feelin i get from wheelin and dealin with my plastic visa
does it please ya
my master-card is my master
american express expresses america's ten-lane freeway to disaster
and here in the north we ain't no better
the name of our dollar describes our collective insanity
our lack of humanity
spending our savings accounts
and like a addict i got get back to it
gotta find a bigger hit
we let debt stress us
lie by saying we gotta dess us
to destress we buy stuff
enough is enough
i want
i want
i want
i want to be free of this stuff
enough is enough
free me from the stuff
i want
i want
i wont

#1508 ribbon

the finish line is no great feat of the heart
the feet and the heart not quitting during those 33000 strides
and the many more training strides which happen before
those are the feats
the finish line is an ending
and like all endings
full of joy and loss

#1507 sandman

an old song heard anew
a new friend with an old feeling
happy is the fellow who packs happiness in the space between his toes
i'll trade you a dime for a good story
and a nickel for your best advice
i'll go broke but i'll be fixed

#1506 blessing

i hope you're enjoying the world
it ain't perfect
but it's a tiny bit closer now that you're here

#1505 submission

and before i heard an answer
i sent out another request
so that if the first answer was No
i still had movement and hope

#1504 croup

she cut out my heart with a reciprocating saw
that spits blood like sawdust
i fell like a bomb
that never detonates
she chewed me up and spit me out
a wet sunflower seed on dirty asphalt

i lost big at love
she raked my heart across the table with love's croupier stick
yet i am the horse's ass

#1503 early bird

i started the day by starting the day
accomplished an accomplishment while most neighbours were still snoring away
i started the day by starting the day
i started the day by running 10k
i started the day by baling the hay
and doing all the accounting for May
i started the day with an hour of play
i started the day painting the house and the neighbour's halfway
and then i swam seven laps of the bay
i started the day by sytarting the day
now i'm going to sleep the rest away

#1502 awareness soldier

a poet is a soldier who fights for awareness
hunting for the special in the mundane
words are the ammo
writing  is the firearm
he wakes early
has tea
thinks
watches
daydreams
for every hundred he writes
one might be good
so he must write many

#1501 fault line

there was pressure of tectonic proportion
now i watch you
from my side of the fault line
and as amazing as the phenomenon is
the physics
the power
i just want to be with you
not to have this fault line bewteen us
you satre in the same direction i do
so i'm left guessing your expression
reading the back of your head
know
this is my fault line, not yours, not ours

#1500 a mile

we rip families and cut communities apart
then act surprised and confused
when ripples continue a generation or two later
shocked that after disadvantaging them from womb to death
that they are prone to what we label bad decisions
my feet can't walk three steps in those shoes

#1499 less

her violent smile
gives me guilt
for sins uncommitted
still, her injured eyes
make me feel
i must have
and so she exploits the world
one meaningless item at a time

#1498 a small toast

hello teeny ears
can you separate music from sound, words from noise, lyric from song
hello tiny hands
do you know the line where you and the world meet
hello little nose
do you know Mother's smell after she leaves the room
hello new mouth
do you get tired, with everything being new
hello wide eyes
here's to you, always seeing yourself as perfect as i do

#1497 gone?

where is the pretty girl
the one whose scarf always matched her socks
where is the pretty girl
the one whose ear played toward her shoulder during her first words in our conversations
where is the pretty girl
the one who tries to hide her smile
a habit left over from adolescent braces
where is the pretty girl
tell her i miss her

#1496 fashion lessons

the mountain has packed away her winter clothes
revealing summer greens
vibrant
her ground holds heat the way she holds her inhabitants
without judgement or expectation
and like students in a foreign language class
or in a typing class
we fail to appreciate the merit of her lessons

#1495 sound philosophy

my favourite weight in this world
is the weight that i wait for each day
i wait for the weight of his weight on my chest
his ranine but angelic position
he has much to teach his dad and his world about perspective and sin and patience
all things which he cannot name and does not understand
skin to skin i stare at him and he
teaches me to be
just, to be
and in this profound moment between father and son
i smile
the way one smiles when he knows he has found a shortcut to the secrets of our universe
then i smile wider
because his response to this profound moment
is to release a significant amount of thunder down under

#1494 slippery trout laughing

i stand, roadside
knee deep in lake water
fishing with my hands for trout hanging out by the culvert
i've been fishing for three hours
and the fish still tease me
i can touch them, feel them slide away
watch them come back to tease me again
still i try
achieving the impossible
is worth the effort

#1493 change is imminent

this should be special
this should be more than a task, a dreaded chore
yet here i am
pushing plastic
filling space
spending life

#1492 how long is a second?

the screen door creeaaak-SLAMS
as we enter the playground called summer
lakes and bikes and beaches
the clocks remain the same
but the time they measure changes
late nights and forgotten mornings
oh slam door
let me be young again

#1491 touched

when i see her, i cry
she is not a sad person
i do not know her well
but she sings
and i heard her sing the right words at the right time in my life
now
when i see her, i cry

#1490 someone murdered the sheriff

who murdered the sheriff
cried the townspeople
fearful of a world without an authority
to tell them what is wrong and what is right
but they hear the deputy
survived and is doing well
and they sigh, relief
imagine a world
where we needed no sheriffs, no referees, no organizing committees
sleep well sheriff

#1489 lullabuy

lullabye goes the world
lulling itself to sleep
singing songs of self-corruption
and profit on the backs of the invisible
we can't see the crime if the victims live half a world away
each day we rock ourselves to sleep
rock a little harder
rock the sins away
rock away resonsibility
rock away ownership
rock a buy-ourselves-to-sleep

#1488 beneath the gear loft

the sleeping bag beside mine is empty
and in the morning i will pack it with me for the day
again
she loved camping
my beard grows long and tangled with my regret
i imagine her here, beside me
still i hear her voice
punishing myself
for the times i did not listen
for the kind words i left unspoken
for the times i was too busy to sit, to chat
i do not miss the expensive trips or the restaurant meals or the anniversary gifts
i miss the plain, the simple
their miracle

#1487 last night together

before you come up to bed henry
turn out the light
alice leans heavy on the rail
pulling her 78-year body to the second storey
a body battered by poverty and children and hard work and life
a life she feels blessed about
like a recovering patient, she removes her clothes
with stubborness and persistence
she listens for henry
but the tv is still on
while downstairs
the lightsgoes out for henry

#1486 80 clicks per hour

i'm floating up
a car sits in the ditch
my car
two wheels still spin
the last thing i remember
is changing songs on the radio
my baby boy
i fight to swim down
he's in the back he's in the back
then i hear him cry
and i feel the relief that i felt four years old
on the day he joined us
i'm floating up again
floating

#1485 pie

what was once a dream
is now a chore
this pie in the sky
is freezer burnt and stale
this mountaintop holds know valley view
this cereal prize
is cheap and plastic
still toil toils on
a habit of the namesake
soon to morph into something new
soon

#1484 haunted

ghosts are hiding in my eyeballs
i see them with my opens open
they haunt me with my eyes closed
i see their smiles
hear their kind words, their laughter
they are on my night ceiling
they are in my morning mirror\
haunting
and i feel blessed

#1483 white rabbit

smoke
in my eyes
but i sit
motionless
eyes open
smoke in my nostrils and lungs
but i sit at the campfire
and laugh and smile and smile and laugh with the others
drinking my oblivion into oblivion
for months,
numb has been my favourite emotion

#1482 awaiting spring

there's a big black hole
inside my soul
the sole reason of my existence and my destruction
a big black whole
darker than coal
where i spend each night on my pillow
someone paint my soul a cpring colour
yellow or red or lime-green
paint over this whole
this big black hole

#1481 straight from the hip

the sherriff looked tired
so i took him down
he had his alpha years
but then lost to me in a quick fair fight
i mourned his legend for a moment
not long enough for the buzzer flies to arrive though
now they call me a killer
but i feel the same
just a reputation to protect
and some day
some day
a young sheriff will take me down

#1480 apology to the woman ahead of me in the check-out line-up for not speaking up

you look tired
you look like this life is a mockery of what you dreamed of as a child
you look like you think life is something that happens to you
like you haven't felt the joy of waking up from a good sleep in years
please, tell me your problems
life has been good to me
i owe the world favours
please, put some of your load on my shoulders
as a thank you, i will try to remind your facial muscles how to smile
tell me about the kids and the job and the fellow (there's always a fellow)
you don't filter and i won't judge
tell me how you came to view each day as something to be passed
when did you give up believing that tomorrow might be great
why
what happened
please, tell me your problems

#1479 the smell after blowing out birthday candles

eyelashes and first stars
birthday candles and shooting stars
pennies in the well
all are wasted on me
my life, today
is my wish

#1478 green

between black asphalt and grey curb
lives a green weed
whispering that plants and nature
will outlive humans and technology
unless we stop and listen to the teachings all around us

#1477 haiku

happiness is in
extracting a dandelion
pulling, root and all

#1476 moderation

the sun is out but i am in
delayed gratification
feels like a sin
my friends run and play
whil;e i sit and work
delayed gratification
can be a real jerk
i can't sit here a moment longer
i'm going ou

#1475 T.I.D.

her eyes are borrowed from some woodland nymph
attractive innocence
her features form a maiden
smooth vulnerability
there is a skinny line between admirer and stalker

#1474 whitewalls

a clean car syas something about the man
but the statement dpends on the man
on the motivation
shine and wax
while your family's inside
your daughters grow up
without your eyes
rinse and shampoo
is this what you have to do
to chain the inner beast
keep him in his cage
buff out the rage

#1473 lake weekend

crank your window down pump your music up
find your friends, lose yourselves in the lake
fill the cooler, empty your mind
remember the sunscreen, forget the stress
chill the drinks, heat up the night
forget about it all, forget how to be fake
it's the weekend
we're heading to the lake

#1472 behind the fences

home is more than a rectangle
more than floors and walls and ceilings
more than welcome mats and wall trinkets
home is your place to go when the world gives you a black eye, then spits in it
home is the summer sound of an unpretentious beer opening
home is the window candle burning in a blizzard of long ago
home is more than a place for hosting
home is more than a place to house possessions
home is your favourite holiday meal
home is a shelter in the wild
home is more than four letters
home is its own alphabet that forms a language of comfort, of self, of belly-deep breathing

#1471 plain birds

i thought i was creative
but all my clouds look like planes and birds and spaceships
still i stare upward from on my back
surrounded by dandelions and dogshit
and all i can do is keep cloud-gazing
hoping my eyes and my creativity and the right cloud
unite
in a moment of perfection

#1470 sometime after recess and before adulthood

when did they leave
or was it me
as happy as i am to know i can live without them
i miss them
i miss the me that was
i knew life like the back of my hand
we can spin back the hands of clocks
wasted revolutions
but time is not manipulated in such ways
time is a precocious child
who must be tricked and smooth-talked and deceived
into doing what we want
and even then
the best we can hope for
is small steps

#1469 11:34

the clock shows four digital 1's
she tells me make a wish
not knowing she is my wish, my bliss, this
her
him
me
family
23 minutes pass
and i am reminded of the hell that was my life
before she turned my hell upside down
showing me heaven in a meal for two
now three

#1468 inspection

when i come around
maintain your pace
embrace your ordinariness
do not look busy for me
i want to see the miracle of the everyday
for everyday, you change lives
underestimation comes in the form of repetition

#1467 fade to black

love was an arrangement
now it's a far-fetched impossibility
hollywood's sheets never stain
and her make-up smears to perfection
they can say they find the truth of the story in the lies of the screen
but i know better
any story of love cannot be told in the two hours between credits

#1466 the nail

his hands were owned and tagged by the cigarettes and the hours given to underpaid labour
with ten kids you don't choose work, work chooses you
a tea is a tea
he watched his grandchildren throw away things that were miracles just a couple decades before
he outlived his time
and like the rest of us
time outlived him
i hope his was a simple box, well-crafted

#1465 childhood in a pail

scratched hot wheels
in a one gallon bucket
and all the hours they fill
garages and races and construction projects
everyone needs a dixie lee and a tow truck

#1464 after dark

hello night
this day's fullness
makes you a welcome guest
the pole in the pillow pulls my head to slumber
hard work and fresh air with a fresh conscience
brings the best from sleep

#1463 held

in the middle of our living room, surrounded by furniture and walls
enveloped by our house, our property
held by our community, hugged by mountains

#1462 family

it's 11:11
says my wife
make a wish
but i pretend to wish because this life is bliss
with heer and him
and me and them

#1461 and cross your t's

eyeballs are disturbing out of their sockets
naked and disturbing
all you want to do do is pick them up and stick them in
but the last thing you want to do is touch them
and even when they're gone from your sight
time drags before you can see regular ones the same again

#1460 three hands and a face

the night burns into day
as day walks into evening
time laughs at our digital clocks
laughs herself to sleep at night
beneath the sky-lights
beneath blue and black and greys
and morning shades of blood and autumn
time is a lake
and a dessert
time is darkness
time is light
time is a billion years of fill-in-the-blank metaphors
she never flies straight
she's laughing to hard
at the ticking of our time-telling devices
telling us nothing
precisely
nothing

#1459 mommy's belly smiles

mommy's belly smiles
since the day you entered this world
through the door the doctors built
special for you
mommy's belly smiles like daddy's mouth
happy you're here
adding colour to our pack of crayons
mommy's belly smiles
and daddy's proud of her
for every breath she breathes
from inside of her belly's smile
to out past her lips
diamonds are silly rocks
but love and parenthood and you
these are what makes the word special sound inadequate

#1458 pumping platelets

helicptors land and still i hear your heart beat-beat
beat-beat
something quits
the pump ceases because there is not enough blood left to pump
giving up happens when purpose disappears
platelets and blood cells flow across peat
red on black
flowing
searching wholes in the soil
forever searching for something so wothwhile
becoming a smaller part of something bigger

#1457 lub-dub

what is a heart but a long-lasting pump
how can people hurt a pump
it still beat-beats
despite the abuse
it still beat-beat-beats despite you
just like a knife in the heart
the pain came from the injury
but the death came from the removal of the blade

#1456 by dad

i wake him
to guarantee myself he's breathing
i stare at him
to convine myself he's there
i hold him
to remind myself he's mine
i love him
because there is no other way

#1455 jealous poet

his font is normal
but his text reshapes my tete
his words share an alphabet with mine
but they speak a language more intense
i remind myself that seemless ease and perfection
come only with practice
thousands and thousands of hours of practice

#1454 happily out of tune

the guitar
the running shoes
the writing notebook
   all sit idle
ever since his life entered mine

#1453 first son

i thought i loved her
i thought the feeling i had each time i saw her was love
but then mixed half of her and half of me
and the love that i filled my world
the only way it's possible
is that she made my world grow too

#1452 pride

they warned me
smug, i thought i understood
they warned me
about love
and change
and sleep
they warned me
but here i am
a proud new dad

#1451 Jack and the Beans Talk

Jack had beans for breakfast
Lunch was loads of chilli
Bean burritos were for supper

Now Jack's Mum and Dad say, "Bedtime, Jack"
Jack's Mum says, "Shhh..."
Jack's Dad says, "Shhh..."

But Jack his wide and long awake
He wants to walk, he wants to talk
(And so do his beans)

#1450 joyless kill

The coyote yelps and twists in pain
The hunter in anguish too
Seeing the pain in his five inch miss
With the power of the gun
Comes the pain in responsibility
He fires another
The coyote drops
Motionless
The hunter lowers the gun
Embarrassed

#1449 oscar

and i had days when i wanted to move in with him
rent my own room in the trash can
i had days when the world seemed like a worse choice
days full of mean words and worse feelings
i had days when i heard all that oscar left unsaid
how many cool spaces there were in there
hidden oases, cardboard-covered shelter
where demands and deadlines were not allowed
i had days when i wanted to get past his grouchness
see what gem he was hiding for himself
and other days
he was just a green puppet in a garbage can

#1448 john done

i can't write a poem about the forest, or the river, or the sun
too many have been done
i can't write a poem about love, or breaking up, or jealousy
there's too many of those you see
i can't write a poem about kittens, or puppies, or little ones
the world already has tons and tons
beauty
done
hate
done
war
done
done, done, done


i've got one
i'll write a poem about the ones i can't do because they've already been done

#1447 wrong reasons

i love for all the wrong reasons
stronger than any right reason
each tic of the clock on the wall
is a win against the odds
according to logic
i should have played roullette with eight in the chamber
but then, that wouldn't be playing
would it
i'm here
and the more you hate me
the more i know i'm alive

#1446 valley visitors

there is no house on that mountain
and no easy trail to that non-house
i daydream about moving there
helping rare visitors find the answers
that pull them up the mountain
answers to questions that pushed them up the trail
i would need a beard
white
and white hair
and an old but ageless look

#1445 the river

barb fence and dew on the mountain
and a man bigger than life
lightning and thunder
in order of appearance
even the stars are scared tonight
relatives like me whose names are new to my lips
we follow the road
home

#1444 quaecumque sunt vera

there is nothing so true as great fiction
how can you beat reality
without the bias and nuissance of fact
truth is not in the second-hand, or the position of the planets
truth is not in the exact words, every uh and um
truth is not the precise location, not plotted points on x and y
it is the right location, it is the why
truth is not the number of people in the room, it is a room in people
fill the pages with lies until truth crawls out
she is persistent and unrelenting
and the page is a great truth-finder

#1443 ready or not

walk down the hall by yourself
and open our classroom door
i want to meet you
get to know you
we've been waiting waiting your arrival
longer than you have been
stop knocking and pull open the door