August 28, 2010

#543 suntans around hemp-bracelet lines

clean nervous smiles step off the bus and into a magic loosely defined as "summer camp"
strange names surround and bad hair-days abound
songs are sung and rules sneaked in and games played
then bedtime
the stop
causes homesickness
but then wake-up and another full day
games and songs and friends and sunshine
and if not, puddle-jumping
sunburnt smiles and everyday flip-flops
campfire smoke and white rabbits
rare showers are the only alone time other than the toilet
the days pile up and there is one sleep left
homesickness returns
but this time in perspective
and greater than the homesickness
the procrastination of morning
the procrastination of mourning

August 21, 2010

#542 www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5QCs3PnQBc


she liked it
she really liked it
she was impressed
she smiled
she spoke to me
her hand touched my leg
her eyes tunneled into mine
and then she went home with me

August 20, 2010

on hiatus soon for a week

#541 like mumford

like mumford
my heart won't listen to my head
it thumps like rave music instead
breathing goes shallow
won't pick up the phone and say Hello
and it's all in my head
but that's all that needs to be said
for reality is not "out there"
reality is internal
and mine
an anxious inferno

August 19, 2010

#540 dear girl

i did not ask for this comment box
and i know these words were jotted to help
to improve
but they hurt
make me think of all i'm not doing
all i'm failing
they make me want to isolate and insulate
myself in the office
where the whispers don't hurt
aren't heard and so don't need to exist

i did not ask for this comment box
but i love you
please minimize your venting
and i will try to accomplish the suggestions
one or two at a time
be patient when i'm overwhelmed and grumpy
i want to be a man, a great man
i want to be your great man
but i did not ask for this comment box

#539 on reading lenord cohen

the old man does not try
to be deep or meaningful or sexy
but accomplishes all three
he lives a life of searching and living and doing
not unlike you and me
but as with you and me
he lives his own way
women and words and music
and a bruised-over heart
still worn on the exterior

#538 the cycle

and we start from two trying to become one
and then we become part of another
then, we leave their body
and are theirs for years
until we find someone to be one with too

August 18, 2010

#537 nothing new in the forecast

there is a dark cloud above me
sunlight all around
the cloud's been above me
for weeks
disguised as years

i've run and driven
stopped and hidden
is the cloud following me?
am i trying for escape?
or am i pursuing the cloud
and all it provides?

the blue horizon
like the cool kids in the cafeteria
offers a view, something to watch
but no sense of belonging
or being invited

August 17, 2010

#536 jealousy

callouses and dirty fingernails
an embarrassment to owners
but a point of jealousy for those who don't
for the people who sit in cushy office seats
staring out windows at the lives they imagine having given up

August 16, 2010

#535 don't do that...

SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING
reads the sign
and
knowing the mental ability
(or lack of)
that my neighbour's kids possess
(twerps)
i chuckle
wondering
am i the only ass that sees the humour?

#534 dirty cars


one day i had to wash the car
but of course i put it off
then i got a phone call
and had to file a form
and of course, i washed the car
then i saw my whatch-ya-ma-call-it was "overdue"
and knew i had to renew
and so i filed the form
and so my day went on and on
a perfect example of the usefulness of procrastination
aka "to-do list masturbation"
and the next day and the next week
and then i flipped a calandar page
and then another
and then another
and then i saw my poor dirty car
and added it to the list
and put it off until i washed it again
to put off something else

August 15, 2010

#533 me and the moon

a frozen night illuminated by nine tenths of a full moon
leaves mount fernie a ghost of its daytime self
and me illuminated by a forty watt bedside lamp
feel like a skeleton of my daytime self
spent
like a kid's dollar in a new candy shop
empty
like a chewed sucker-stick
i see the mountain
and i wonder how it achieves beauty
day and night

August 14, 2010

#532 wasted

self-pity and self-anger shroud me
and the hangover and last night's memories
refuse to help me
i stand here
at the bottom of an old-fashion well
daylight, sunshine
are visible, and close
but out of reach
and they feel miles away,
a different existence

and so i stare at the stale dark walls
not because i like them
but because looking up
hurts

August 13, 2010

#531 disposable corporate ethics

in a world where "customer service"
means "move out of the way of our paying customers"
and "value added" means an extra fee
where automated machines tell you every 2 minutes
how, "your call is very important"
and "warranty" means, "estimated time of break-down"
in a world where all these are everyday
isn't it brilliant to speak on the phone
with someone polite and useful

August 12, 2010

#530 moments


the moment as the parachute settles in grade 2 PE, exciting calm
the moment after the wave crashes before it recedes, the rocks tinkling out
the moment after a mother snaps a crisp new sheet above a bed, peace
your face right after a good kiss, saying your world is in front of you

August 11, 2010

#529 alone with the one you love

he wakes beside her

the one who fuels the hands on his clock to spin,
who provides his neural activity with meaning,
ignites his poems

but still,
he sleeps alone

#528 landmarks

the numbers are falling from the clockface
collecting by a teetering "6"
and i watch enough cnn
to wonder if the clock's fate is an apocalyptic warning
as another tornado claims lives

the hands keep spinning on their axes
though more numbers have fallen than not
a pile built by gravity
i think of my parents saying "turn left at the sullivans"
though there is no house there
hasn't been in forty years

i look at the clock again
and i know what time it is

August 10, 2010

#527 michelangelo's cartwheel (*accepted into "cartwheel")





















in my dream, he returns
i am hitchhiking the trans-canada
and he cartwheels by
pauses, upside down
michelangelo's vitruvian man, inverted
i raise my arms, feel connected
we are a perverse reflection
each seeing the other as the mirror
frowns are smiles
smiles are frowns
he speaks words, life changing words
and i awake
scramble for a pen
and stare at a blank page

#526 bodies tick like clocks

pictures on walls tell a story of a woman who was
serious stares at serious photographers
young and black and white
older and grainy and colour
framed behind glass
hanging eye-level
soon to laid to rest in an attic
buried in corrugated oblivion
forgotten

until then, she wanders halls on wheels with other artifacts
baseboards built for the convenience of brooms
paint chosen to calm, to bore
lights chosen to reduce power bills and incidentally, the sense of home
weekly visits, obligatory
a room filled with photos and stuffies, and other silence-breakers
and visitors sit behind forced smiles
afraid that time will one day also leave them
forgotten

August 9, 2010

#525 running the loop

running
like treading water
but instead of water
stress and problems and to-do lists undone
i need to run, to stay afloat

August 8, 2010

#524 saying goodbye

like packing up a tent in the rain
fast temporary, unhappy
stuff it away
to deal with on a drier, cheerier day
sand that was welcomed yesterday
is heavy and wet and gross today

August 7, 2010

#523 of cars and rings and relationships

shiny and new
brilliant
then a nick
wet tears
followed by more nicks and scratches
now old and marked
unique
irreplaceable

August 6, 2010

#522 to remove a thistle


to remove a thistle
you need to grip below the thorns
to do this, you will get scratched
but at the root of the problem
the plant has no offense, but its attachment
to the earth around it

tug, reach lower
repeat

the spindly parsnip-like root will yield
to your persistence
are there any thorns that don't have gentle roots?
with roots that puncture hands?

August 5, 2010

#521 like a horse and carriage

goodnight to the man with the naked finger
goodnight from an older man with everything your young running shoes ran from
goodnight to independent decisions, unlimited
goodnight to no expectations but your own
goodnight to shaggy t-shirts and to sleeping off saturday morning hangovers
sleep well
i'll take my finger and its weight
i'll wear my wallabees and chuckle inside at your laughs
i'll say hello to decisions shared
to the suggestion box who sees the best man inside my sensible coat
and goodbye to weekly benders

#520 exit sandman

old friend forgotten
revisits at night
looking the same as ever
but behaviour altered

an old workmate,
angry at me over my choice of sandwich
an elementary classmate,
upset over where i planted a tree
my driving instructor,
yelling about spots on my dishes
i wake


unsettled


August 4, 2010

#519 why are you here?


i saw her in a bathing suit, and the thoughts started
i should have stopped them there, i know
but thoughts are mine, and thoughts are harmless
but they grew and grew in my head
like vetch and weeds in the neighbour's garden
and my thoughts took over my head
like the vetch and the weeds
they grew bigger, stronger, choking out the good ones
and instead of weeding out the garden
i pretended to love the weeds
i called their ugliness, beauty
called the perverse thorns, flowers
and that is why i am here