i saw her in a bathing suit, and the thoughts started
i should have stopped them there, i know
but thoughts are mine, and thoughts are harmless
but they grew and grew in my head
like vetch and weeds in the neighbour's garden
and my thoughts took over my head
like the vetch and the weeds
they grew bigger, stronger, choking out the good ones
and instead of weeding out the garden
i pretended to love the weeds
i called their ugliness, beauty
called the perverse thorns, flowers
and that is why i am here
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