he finds himself at a party
with many couples his own age
kids seem to outnumber the adults
all four and younger
several newborns
do you you want to hold her, asks one mother over the music, extending her second born
no thanks
c'mon, don't be shy, besides, she glances at his partner and adds with a smile, it'll be good practice
the baby is in his lap now, his hand supports the neck
she lets go, see, not so bad
he gives a polite smile to the mother
the baby coos and smiles
the stereo's playlist comes to an abrupt and
all eyes are on him
he can't look at his partner
all he can do is fight tears
and think about operating rooms and nurses avoiding eye contact
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