have you ever been home alone
and wanted to learn what it feels like to scrape your facial skin under your fingernails
top to bottom, eyes to chin
long and, slow
like a grade 5 boy's nails on a chalkboard
ever wanted to learn what it felt like?
both on your face and under your nails
ever felt like the trade of the price of pain for pay-off- the relief of release
might be a bargain
ever felt the weight of the to-do list you feel you've carried in your pocket your whole life
ever felt it?
let your mind linger on it?
to wear those ten scar lines of today's warrior
so the world will see your mark of the survivor
so they'll be awkward and/or avoid you
they don't understand that your enemies are their enemy
the everyday
the contentment
the overabundance,
the desensitization
the distance
the difficulty
with words like "love" and "thank-you" and "hug"
a part of me hopes you have
i hope you never bring it past wondering
but it'd be nice to not be the only one on this lonely playground
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