#1450 joyless kill

The coyote yelps and twists in pain
The hunter in anguish too
Seeing the pain in his five inch miss
With the power of the gun
Comes the pain in responsibility
He fires another
The coyote drops
Motionless
The hunter lowers the gun
Embarrassed

#1449 oscar

and i had days when i wanted to move in with him
rent my own room in the trash can
i had days when the world seemed like a worse choice
days full of mean words and worse feelings
i had days when i heard all that oscar left unsaid
how many cool spaces there were in there
hidden oases, cardboard-covered shelter
where demands and deadlines were not allowed
i had days when i wanted to get past his grouchness
see what gem he was hiding for himself
and other days
he was just a green puppet in a garbage can

#1448 john done

i can't write a poem about the forest, or the river, or the sun
too many have been done
i can't write a poem about love, or breaking up, or jealousy
there's too many of those you see
i can't write a poem about kittens, or puppies, or little ones
the world already has tons and tons
beauty
done
hate
done
war
done
done, done, done


i've got one
i'll write a poem about the ones i can't do because they've already been done

#1447 wrong reasons

i love for all the wrong reasons
stronger than any right reason
each tic of the clock on the wall
is a win against the odds
according to logic
i should have played roullette with eight in the chamber
but then, that wouldn't be playing
would it
i'm here
and the more you hate me
the more i know i'm alive

#1446 valley visitors

there is no house on that mountain
and no easy trail to that non-house
i daydream about moving there
helping rare visitors find the answers
that pull them up the mountain
answers to questions that pushed them up the trail
i would need a beard
white
and white hair
and an old but ageless look

#1445 the river

barb fence and dew on the mountain
and a man bigger than life
lightning and thunder
in order of appearance
even the stars are scared tonight
relatives like me whose names are new to my lips
we follow the road
home

#1444 quaecumque sunt vera

there is nothing so true as great fiction
how can you beat reality
without the bias and nuissance of fact
truth is not in the second-hand, or the position of the planets
truth is not in the exact words, every uh and um
truth is not the precise location, not plotted points on x and y
it is the right location, it is the why
truth is not the number of people in the room, it is a room in people
fill the pages with lies until truth crawls out
she is persistent and unrelenting
and the page is a great truth-finder

#1443 ready or not

walk down the hall by yourself
and open our classroom door
i want to meet you
get to know you
we've been waiting waiting your arrival
longer than you have been
stop knocking and pull open the door

#1442 hiding hope with fake humility

you praise my creation
i smile and thank you
thinking about all the neglect
family, health, self
and i hope you turn my creation
into enough action
to make it worth it all

#1441 former

i am myself
alarm clock is my enemy
i'm so sick of waking up and doing right
i am me myself and i
but we've been better
all i wanna do is sleep away the days
and couch surf the nights
sick of fighting the same same fights
my shoulder blades ache from where the wings were torn out
sometime between adolescence and now

#1440 hope

he calls me Dad and he
looks up until is neck kinks
how do i grow 90 feet tall
teach me handiness and prowess and manhood
sell me the instruction booklet
give me the owner's manual
teach me to stay calm when he lies motionless
covered in hospital bed tubes
not everything can be fixed with epoxy and a hammer
for some repairs there is no right tool
just time and hope

#1439 lost son

empty sky
live and die
cry and try
the crib mobile pays simple soothing disturbing music
rain falls in the nursery
no sirree, yessirree

disappearing into this ghost of a floor
that was built from planks of love and hope
now carpeted in fears come alive
see me
see me

you are my son
like Dad's own cloud
i stand here in the night
waiting for a first word that never comes
how can i unhang these pictures, box these toys, paint these walls
live and die, empty sky
live and die, empty sky

#1438 surrender

zip your suitcase triple check your ticket
follow the road and all its signs
find the concrete nest where metal birds take off and land
set all you need on a conveyor ride that looks so smooth
carrying every thing through a black flap
behind which you have no control
her voice echoes with each back-and-forth swing of the flap
did you pack your own, did you leave them unattended
did you pack your own, did you leave them unattended
sometimes
leaving them unattended
is the best love you can give

#1437 scaring myself

speak my language
or at least
understand
know what i need
know the taste is my world
all i really need next to love
know that i'm not selfish or stubborn or spoiled
i just have a lot of learnin' left to do
your learning is a library
mine a cue-card
find patience when i flail and kick and scream
to tired to slip into sleep
too scared to settle down
swaddle me nourish me
and i'll try to fix this world

#1436 due

let me sleep here
a little longer
i promise i'll
come out soon
but for now
let me breathe inside
this here little womb

do not push
me out
let me float float
float
a little
longer
there'll be time enough for being out, when the comin' time a comes

rub these walls
from your next room over
wish me well
let me be
let me be
let me be free
your room's, responsibility

#1435 this spring

dust clouds swirl beneath my bed
similar to the
inside ofof my head
my mind needs a visit from a broom
not unlike this here room
the clothes that fill my closet
haven't left it since the last time i moved houses
and even then they were trapped for the trip in a box

#1434 fingers and hearts

hands speak a language if you let them
combination locks
telephone numbers
guitar licks
so does the human heart
if we let it
if we keep the brain from confoundifying things
like our fingers
our hearts can
open locked places
contact other people
and make music

#1433 protecting family

we shall sit around this table
together
we will break walls by breaking bread
together
we will share community
by sharing salad
together
the big box will stay dark
the little boxes will wait until dessert is done
we will ignore the excuses
we will fight to protect suppers together
together

#1432 when being a man was hard and simple

the world was shorter then
and taller were the men
raised by mothers with hearts 100 feet around
raised, by the whole damned town
men had dirt beneath their nails
obvious their wins, obvious their fails
now we have ties
that tie men in suits
suits that don't suit men
give them their rugged jeans back again
let them be men
let them wait in hospital halls
let them be men
let them not understand women's length of telephone calls
let them be men
give them problems that can be fixed with tools and with hands
let them be men
let them be men

#1431 underwater

eyes closed
i hold my breath
falling slow
underwater
in dry clothes

life
flashes before me like a perfect movie with some kind of twisted end

i hear the music in the water
the music tells me to float down
to let the ocean bottom pull me down
pull me home

then your voice screams
quiet and distant and murky
then louder, clear
kick, Kick, KICK

my eyes shoot open
i kick right,
kick left
kick-kick-kick

the light winches me up
on the power of your voice

#1430 before walking indoors to make the decision

standing on a balcony
all humans are my minions
they just don't know it
i watch them brush past one another
each hiding their own story behind vacant subway eyes

i can make them see
give me my front-page story
let them read my contribution
let me un-desensitize
let me show these dots, these ants

they give themselves away to devices
they forget what being human means
let me remind them
let me remind them
let me bring them home

#1429 when creep is a step up

alone
in a crowded street
no wife no
friend to meet
a bubble of silence in a sea of noise
i am worse than a creep
i am a nothing
i am the invisible "0" at the far right of the decimal
but i have no sense of place and i have no value
i am a not
i am in knots
thousands of my species
walk past
i am a crack in the sidewalk
happiness is a perversion right now

#1428 the note inside my head

one finger
one piano key
dah
dah
da
dah
scream
alone in a home for five
these walls are empty
this mind is bursting
with no one to save
save for the dead

tears are a luxury
that well is dry
cold stone
dark echo
dah
da-da-da

my parents are gone
i am
the bit of the candle left
both ends burned
da-da
da-da

#1427 objects in mirror are close, and so is fear

reverse the jetta out the drive
deliberate the shoulder checks

radio, kill the pedestrians left behind
drive the nights away and sleep for daze
childhood is a beautiful monster
who works in simple devious ways

so i count regrets like sheep on the screen of a child's mind
righteousness
fear
failure to act

highway highway, hug me somehow
stroke my ego, close my eyes
all
for a tank of gas
stroke my ego, close my eyes
highway highway, hug me now

#1426 jaw

my father's lip was bitten
sucking back words
bits of food from last night's supper
his jaw
invades the bodies
of tension and power

#1425 dessert

i thought love was a dessert
a pie or a mousse or a tin of cookies
so i filled my mouth
until crumbs spilled out my mouth
then i jammed extra into my pockets
while the people who loved me
watched
hungry

#1424 kryptonite

we were tight
you and me
tight like
like superman and clark kent
and we both know who was which
but while you and your cape were flying
i was writing
and writing
and writing

then your cape was torn and you fell
i failed to catch you
failed to see that your cape was the power behind my words, my glasses, my hands

#1423 acj

she stands 8 feet minus 3
tough as gravel, gentle as a new baby
she breaks boards and fights fires
she teaches all the little liars
her bark is big
but her bite is better
you ain't met no one like this
no not ever
she was a little-bitty weed
growing in a forest of trees
now she's a big old weed
and the forest begs mercy down at her knees

#1422 offspring

words one longs for
daddy's little girl
the quiet, protective look
daddy's little girl
words he never hears

#1421 the grass grows where her trailer once stood

your body is old
but your spirit walks backward
to when crosswords would not hold your attention
i see you walking backward
avoiding sidewalk cracks and looking for treasure

and i hope you find your treasure
and i hope you know you were mine

#1420 the lame punch line in the dirty joke

i wanna meet the an i could've been
the one with no regretted scars
the one who never hurt the hearts he loved
i wanna meet the man i could've been
i am a dirty joke and the lame punch line and he is the bible and the qur'an
i might look like a distant relative but i am a fraud
let me stand beside the man i could've been
should've been
let me whisper a prayer in his ear
let him show me the way back
to being a good man

#1419 sincerely, acoustic guitar

the strings might make the sound
but the hole makes the music
lets everyone hear the notes
and though it should look funny and out of place
the hole looks normal
because we all have our own

#1418 ben

i looked up to him
put him on a cloud and expected him to sit there
not to fall
but clouds have no solid substance
and so he fell
down
down
down
then i blamed him
how dare he fall when i put him up on such a high cloud
years later, the anger has evaporated
and he is my hero again
not because of the cloud, or the fall
but because of the way he bounced

#1417 forever

this baby is coming
and as excited as i am
the birth scares me
how much can i help
but more than the birth
is that minute
we walk home, through our door
the birth will happen
will have a beginning and an end
but parenting
lasts longer than the drive to the faraway hospital

#1416 just once

you can't do anything ten times

without doing it once

days off, days on

mean words, huge feats

there is no chance of a tenth time

or even a second

without a first

#1415 the unfairness of time

father father, show me how
that was then and this is now
i look down at your shrinking frame
still 8-feet tall to me
sometimes i wish my world was so simple
that my jobs were blue
but then i know
i'd never reach the standard set by you
father father, fix the clock somehow

#1414 fifth gear and hauling weight

life is squeezed into the compact car
i slip the gearshift into reverse
roll out,
waving in the awkward way one waves
over-aware that this is a life-changing moment
then i'm on the highway, alone
as roadsigns whiz by
the dj's play the soundtrack of chapters past
and chapters ahead

#1413 in dog years

i'm the first to leave
hiding my yawns
stifling my opinion on the bar's choice of music volume
i use the excuse that i should go home and check on the dogs
everyone left their dogs at our place
fenced backyard

my dog stands, staring at me
to anthropomorphize
her star pouted
i'm tired,
why did you leave me with all these young pups?

#1412 i do

then, the weight on my finger was heavy
now, noticing requires intention
one of the everyday miracles we take for granted
like air and water and a roof

#1411 hall of fame

my mother's hands should be enshrined
the mother hall of fame
how many diapers changed
how many lunch sandwiches built
when does the committee vote
and how has no one heard

#1410 april

winter's dark ugly brown turns to spring dust
dancing like a music-box ballerina
behind each passing car
the asphalt holds warmth
holds promise
holds promises

#1409 the converted

went to the city
murdered a younger me
the sheriff wore a false badge
fooled me for years
penance was a lie designed to distract me
when i learned
i drew his gun, loaded
pointed the barrel at his phony trinket
passed him the gun and walked away

#1408 memorizing poetry

you turned the trees into words
cage/page the message
and now all we take with us beneath our headstone
is catchy jingles for burgers and beers
this is not their fault
this was us
we shackled our own wrists
and the only good news
we hold the keys in our selves

#1407 eve of destruction

you

the woods, an apple

me, and you beneath the tree

certainly a serpent there

fruit forbidden falls

before newton knew

now everything is ugly

i know innocence is lost

but still i try

penance

still i try

#1406 angel at the end of the road

the excitement of the catch

we boxed her, framed her as proof of our control

then traveled in yellow for hours

only to return again to the end of the road

she lay beside the nourishment we provided to keep our proof alive

she lay

dead

#1405 love

i used to be happy, with a book and an empty house

i still am, but only for a little while

then i start watching the window waiting

wondering, when she will be home

#1404 50 plus one

who's've guessed that the banjo would grow a cool factor
maybe there is hope for real music
that's not right, there is always hope for real music
and because of it
what i mean to say, is maybe there is hope for the majority

#1403 eyes closed, fifth row

that man doesn't play the guitar, the guitar plays him
the recording is good, but the moment is lost
the relationship between musician and instrument, between musician and audience
the song is for the moment, the moment for the song

#1402 worth the admission

there are 181 chairs

each holding one person

182 if you include his

but for those minutes

there is only him and his guitar

eyes closed

body moving the way a singer's body moves when the music takes them

his hair is a curtain that shelters him in this room with his guitar

allowing the audience only a glimpse

#1401 in the living room

i need you in the living room, said she
nothing, said he
i need you in the living room! said she
nothing, said he
so she went to see he
but it wasn't to be
for the last time he was asleep

#793 entitled

we have it all
we are not lazy
we aren't inclined against work
we just have no need
our parents do everything until we are 18
(or longer)
society will not let us fall too far down life's stairs
in fact society has a fence preventing us from getting near the stairs
with a bright ugly sign WARNING: STAIRS ARE DANGEROUS
and if we step over the sign and fall
somehow it's someone else's fault
maybe the sign wasn't ugly enough

i'm not lazy
i have no reason to work
my parents needed to work hard to earn anything
through their hard work, i am born with everything i need
and almost everything i want
i am not lazy
i am bored and ashamed
but i'm not lazy

#1400 100

soon i'll trade quantity for quality
a twig a day for a branch a week
seeing where they grow
the watering routine and the gardening methods might change
but the seed is in the ground
and soon is time to release control
soon it's up to the seed
all the gardener can do is water and weed and love

#1399 the things i would not be me without

cooking supper together
doing the laundry before she arrives home
reading together in bed
our evening walks
her questions, all her questions
and the smile

#1398 eight months

life is knocking
hello!?!
life is kicking and trying for high-fives
cartwheeling and somersaulting
growing bored
growing
not long now

#1397 good practice

he finds himself at a party
with many couples his own age
kids seem to outnumber the adults
all four and younger
several newborns
do you you want to hold her, asks one mother over the music, extending her second born
no thanks
c'mon, don't be shy, besides, she glances at his partner and adds with a smile, it'll be good practice

the baby is in his lap now, his hand supports the neck
she lets go, see, not so bad
he gives a polite smile to the mother
the baby coos and smiles
the stereo's playlist comes to an abrupt and
all eyes are on him
he can't look at his partner
all he can do is fight tears
and think about operating rooms and nurses avoiding eye contact

#1396 7am

four quick calls in succession
the crow on a branch in my neighbour's yard
telling me i should get up and go for a run
i flop my two feet on the floor
before my mind makes a million excuses
today
every day
a beautiful day for a run

#1395 1994

somewhere there is a Mixed Tape with his voice
and though i never look for it
i am afraid it will find me
especially when i'm searching the attic or the basement
for something else lost in box and in time
i a amazed by the power it holds in me
just one lost Mixed Tape

#1394 lub-dub

you can tilt your head to elevate your nose into the air
up above my rabbit hole
you can tip your chin down to look
down on how much time i spend here
hours on a couch or on my bed or on the magic-box
but when i come out
when i come out
i am a little closer to understanding the heartbeat of the universe

#1393 POP

people ask when you became You
and i'm not sure
but i remember an early day
you locked out the screen door
all the boys on the inside
you with a plastic sword in your hand
the biggest boy mocking you with a balloon filled big
with air anxious to escape
you didn't cry or whine or even pull on the door
you just stood
independent
determined

none of us boys saw the gap made by the door's window
but your smirk did
and so did your sword

#1392 machete

i'm sure you had
to go ahead of me in the
jungle with your
machete and your false
sense of confidence and without
anyone for to lead you
you were unequipped
and sometimes you forgot my feet were falling
yours and sometimes you
remembered and
were annoyed but
you kept hacking

#1391 it's 1989

the station us filled with kids
and towels and beach gear and fruit and drinks
and clutter
hard to believe anyone was ever new-car protective of her
giggles come from the back
three kids all leaning left
physically willing the car to turn left for ice-cream
the driver feigns to ignore
knowing, on the way back, he will turn right

#1390 established 1895

fernie fernie hold me tight
through the day and through the night
between two bridges, night and day and day and night
let the travellers pass on through
let those in need of healing stop to visit you
hugged by mountains hugged by life
still the ghostrider wanders still
look the other way to the hill

o fernie fernie hold me tight
i got my lies and demons to fight
between two ridges, day and night and night and day
let the banjos and the singers play
i'm sorry for what we take from you
erasing mountains erasing life
you give me three sisters but i miss my one
as the mountian tucks in the sun

fernie fernie are you alright?
below the city but such great height
between to bridges, fight and play and play all night
am i a traveller passing through
do i stop and worship you
hug him mountains and my wife
two's enough don't give me three
two's enough now let her be
two's enough now let her be

#1389 giving up the driver's license

childhood is my driver's rearview mirror
stretching out and fading away in front of me
following in front of me 'round every turn
since before my license earned
at first i stared at the buick ornament on the hood
but now i can relax and think about
things like what makes me bad what makes us good
objects in mirror are closer than they appear
said the words on all behind me
memories and dusty friends
that rhyme about 'til the end
but my principles have been my pals
and what goes up does not come down
like age that used to make me frown
now my white hair won't allow
cause childhood is my rearview mirror
and childhood it all looks clear

cause childhood is my rearview mirror

and childhood it all looks clear

#1388 dougall's lane

the half mile drive to childhood
used to be a half mile walk to the yellow bus
and we forget to see our own No Trespassing signs
my cursor knows the way
drives me, a passenger, often
in places
the treed walls so tall they mimic a ceiling
in places sides are open
windows that look one way
the trailer where i used to play
the last pitch was steeper then
reality and perception wore it down
park beneath the shade
leave the keys in the ignition
if anyone works their way out here
deserve is on their back

#1387 looking back

days and years
my worst friends and best enemies
kind words never spoken
tough words never heard
T-stops i never got to revisit
i should set up a booth at the carnival
psychology for $1
i should camp for a week
leave with a stick over my shoulder holding a handkerchief of fod

dance like the world is watching
love as though you've been hurt before
sing as though everyone can hear you
live as though there is no heaven

#1386 on depression as memory

the northern lights are doing an interpretive dance of the beauty you hand on to others
stars fall every night, to be closer to the life people get from your smile
the reason planets do not twinkle and blink, is because they don't wanna miss a word you say
gravity is a lie, the power of your love for life, is what pulls things toward the earth
the reason the sun climbs mountains each morning, is to see the world the way it is with you in it
anyone wants to know why i'm happier than i used to be:
ask aurora borealis
ask a falling star
ask the planets
ask descending objects
ask the sun

#1385 stilts

i'm searching for the something that i found in the smile in your eyes
something happens when you touch happiness
something good is created and floats into the world
there is no name for this something
but it is something the world needs ore of

for me, that something is like stilts under a roller coaster
making my highs higher, and my lows
adding joy to the cartwheeler in my stomach
and the moments before his cartwheels

#1384 the carpenter

the carpenter turns process trees into beautiful manmade items
useful
but the best
when you're alone on the bench, or in the room, or on the chair
you don't feel alone
you feel like you're alone in a church
alone with the spirit of the tree

#1383 more than walls and a roof

i ain't a mountain boy
but i weren't no ocean fish neither
i am myself anywhere and everywhere
at home no where
maybe if i were a singer
i'd find myself at home in the van on the road
or in front of the crowd on the stage
or an artist with my easel
but though i love music and art
they are not where i lay my head down neither
i guess i'm at home struggling to find a home i can call mine

#1382 the legend

he makes the guitar say things English has no words for
touches something so primal i'm not sure if his music is an ancient language
or if it pre-dates language
expressing the feelings that language tries to do second hand
like a map of the Earth tries to copy the Earth itself

#1381 it's not easy being green

during the eulogistic song
how did big bird not stop and cry
he must have stepped out of his big yellow self
as he sang about being green
must have disappeared to nowhere
or transported to somewhere
for those 110 seconds
before his big orange legs carried him away
surely, surely
he cried then

#1380 no siren here

as i headed to your house
i noticed the ambulance
it was driving at a relaxed pace
and the lights were off
unlike the lights in your house when i walked up to the entrance
i knocked
and knocked
had come so far to see you
across geography and circumstance

that's when i remembered the ambulance
and knocked harder

#1379 forgotten photos

i'm in a forgotten folder on my desktop
filled with photos
of a love i thought i had
the edges of the screen
hide all that wasn't in the shots
harsh words and selfish thoughts
disapproving glances and lonesome cots
and i wonder where she is
what she's think of me now
i am motivated to be better
but the motivation feels brown and black and grey and no shade of pure

#1378 nature's silent show

i could watch snow fall on snow for hours
like water fountains and campfires
the slow stacking of snow mesmerizes me
i sit on the railing between the world and my own head
unaware of the railing beneath me
unaware of my own staring
my gaze is pulled down
by the gravity of the white dots falling to the ground
i look back up, only to have my eyes pulled to the ground again

#1377 smiles

dear stranger,
i'm not good at first impressions
i'm awkward and unconfident
acknowledge me
smile
smiling helps me to relax
i'm more comfortable in my own head
but smiles, they convince me that its safe to come out

#1375 BM

1 kids misbehave. scratch that, people misbehave

2 understanding why someone is misbehaving helps with how to respond

3 humour is a powerful tool. use it for students, not against them

4 truth can be a form of humour

5 a caring teacher is an easy target for misdirected anger

6 a caring classroom is the result of countless decisions, and never happens overnight

7 learn from other teachers in your school

8 help other teachers (the ones who are down, the new ones, the guest ones)

9 push yourself to achieve everything you expect and hope for from students (respect for others and yourself, best effort)

10 find joy in your job

11 greet your students by name and with eye contact. learn what is important to them. not as manipulation, not as obligation, but genuine interest in learning about them.

12 tell people when you're feeling overwhelmed

13 teachers matter. i have never met anyone who didn't recall at least one teacher fondly.

#1374 i can canoe a canoe, can you?

let me begin with a cliche...
my life is a river
fast and slow and changing
and in this river
you are sometimes my canoe
and you are sometimes my paddle
i could survive without
by drifting
and being at the mercy of the river

#1373 twenty-something

hung on walls with darts, like hockey cards
we traded body parts, dog-eared our hearts in the dark
in the early morning our strategic clothes
grew out of the hardwood floor like flowers from the earth
we blamed booze for shared secrets and felt guilt for five days
until the next weekend arrived
when we chose clothes again
to go to hear the same thump-thump
in the same lighting that made us feel good
lose ourselves in the present
running from our pasts
ignoring our futures

#1372 hellmark moment

i want to send flowers
but i'm afraid of the awkward thank-you
i want to say the right thing that makes you happier
but i know i'll i'll insert my merrell in my mouth
i want you to know that i'm thinking of you
that my heart wants to take off its coat and offer the coat to your heart
instead
i write a poem you'll never read

#1371 american bobber

the paradise of river-rock shines now

between the water and the snow

a foot wide, a river long

the bobber does his dance

between graceful and awkward

finding life, along the edge

#1370 thermometer rising

we wash windows
speeding spring's victory
spread piles of snow into blankets
and wait for the sun to round the house
we pack away our biggest boots
optimistic
we fill with the feelings of hope
that new year's teased

#1369 until next sunday

cars fill empty spaces
cars
clean, expensive
well-dressed people
close car doors
clip-clop to the double-doors
for one hour, they show one another how Christian they are
then, the parking lot empties

#1368 max load

turning the wrench
twisting the bolt
spring-loaded
torquing
i feel the tension
in my wrist
in my arm in my life

#1367 building in bulk

the carpenter came yesterday
he arrived with a truck full of supplies and tools
he unloaded it all
set everything up
built me my door
packed up everything and left
it took most of the day
then he packed up and left
and i wished i'd had him build another door
to divide the cost
to make the effort worth the reward

and today i sit here
staring at my laptop screen
thinking how poetry is like carpentry
the effort to build one door
to write one poem
is more than to build a second door
or to write a second poem

#1366 flies buzz

flies buzz
lame attempts at coming to life
lazy and stupid
and i watch them
from the couch where i fell asleep

#1365 first world poetry

scarcity and deservedness improve satisfaction
the last beer in the fridge after a filling the howmow for next winter
but in this world of plenty and easy
how often
in houses full of junk and excess and comfort and ease
do we feel that satisfaction

#1364 out like a lamb

winter's feeble final attempt
fails to even hide the asphalt
disappears by lunch
except in the best of shadows

we can no longer ignore
spring is here
we wait for machines to clean streets
for restaurants to restore stored tables to patios

snow-plows slumber in hibernation
big flat shovels slink to the back of sheds
rakes and hoes and spades
eager to take the place of their winter counterparts

#1363 wishing you well

Dear Friend
i know we haven't spoken in two years
and i've owed you an apology since that night
i took your authenticity and generosity
and i hocked a loogie and spat on your kindness
i hope you take no offense to me calling you Friend
for you were more Friend than i deserved
losing my self in any moment
avoiding the thoughts and self-hate that filled my cranium
was more important to me
than recognizing the humanity in humans
living that life, surrounded me with people doing selfish things
you were different
i remember that
i can never undo what i did
and the word sorry echoes more empty than an abandoned wishing well
sincerely,
adam

#1362 the dory story of gory and glory

i thought i was strong
i was strong
in that small world
and as the old dory came toward me
i tried with every muscle i had
i found muscles in my toe nails
straight-armed and breath-held
i tried to stop her
and she hit the dock with a gory CRASH

the girl opposite me was tiny
she was tiny
a tiny girl in a tiny world
and as her dory slid slow toward her
i fretted with every muscle i had
i found fret in chest hairs i didn't even have
face-frozen and breth-held
i watched her
and her dory kissed the dock
as she guided it slightly sideways with a gentle one-handed glorious nonchalance

#1361 coalescence

i used to go with my dad to his work at night when he worked overtime at a job he didn't like
his hands were and are magic
able to fix trucks so big they needed special doors to fit them inside the garage
when he would weld he would tell me to look away
but sometimes i had to sneak peeks and steal glances
because his concentration was a beautiful thing
i had to look
because his focus caused sparks and light to ignite
between his hands and the object of his attention

that is how i am with you
your smile changes the sunlight on a summer day
changes the glow in our bed of the alarm clock
illuminates the miraculous magic in an ordinary moment
you are the extra in my life that makes the ordinary
extraordinary
your smile for life
is the rush that i'd get when watching my Dad build something from wood
that moment an hour into the creation process when i realized what the creation would be
your smile lights up the long-dark places in my being
being dark from not seeing light for decades
dirt basement rooms in old abandoned houses

the arc between your smile and my dark rooms
makes me smile in my sleep
makes me smile in my sleep
makes me smile in my sleep

#1360 the writing on the wall

in a house of walls filled with trinkets stating
LOVE
FAMILY
HAPPINESS
sits a kid
wishing the words were more than words on a wall

#1359 morning mountain (three sisters)

the clouds slide past her
evidence of the sun's existence shines through
a thousand hues of orange and purple
and i swear
i see the mountain stretch
cat-like
i see the mountain yawn
and i know the mountain is ready for today
and i know today is ready for the mountain

#1358 the ceiling

the dog snores
she gave up on finishing her to-do list hours ago
laughing in her dreams at my useless commitment
trying to climb over a brick wall that has no top
watching me climb above the clouds
scratching my fingers and knees to bleeding
still
i climb

#1357 1 a.m.

the eyes water
lids sink
thoughts slow
and zig-zag
and you know
you should go to bed

#1356 reading between the lines

we used to read between the lines
now we read online
we used to read for meaning
now we keep meaning to read
we used to have a table of contents
now we've taken content off the table
we are putting the sin
in syntax

#1355 second hand opinion

i used to read
and now i skim
to get lost beyond the clock
for hours
in a way that hours is but a misnomer
now i get lost in multi-tasking and busy-ness
in a way way that fills time
murdering time
killing time

#1354 larry

the bear spoke
and my tongue helped my ears listen
i sat in the office chair in front of his desk
he told me ugly truth
and made me hear something, i somewhere already knew
and i wish i said thank you

#1353 mastur of your own destiny

i saw you in line
you playing on stage
just you and your guitar
you were with all your friends
and i hoped you'd think of me
the next time you touched yourself

i noticed your hair
you were blonde
your hair was red
best brunette my eyes ever seen
and won't you please think of me
alone under your duvet

your clever jokes
you never spoke a word
we shared a look
we shared an aisle on the plane
and i hope i'm in your mind
in your hotel room tonight

my eyes fell in love with yours
i never saw your front
now let me be blunt
behind those closed eyes
picture me, as you touch your
self

#1352 like a baby birdie

when do you say, enough
when do you say no to a fellow human
and yes to yourself
when does too much kindness and patience and understanding
become a disservice to the receiver
there comes a time
when love comes
in the form
of a boot, in the ass
and we fly or we splat
but then the flight, or the failure, is ours