#129 after bedtime-snack

tunnels

carniverous amphibians

a reverie's version of childhood home

chutes and adventure and danger

and victory

aunt

ordinary

gone wrong

unhuman

a child's stuffed animal

massacred by keeper of the trust

kindergarten teacher

#128 large family, kitchen table

sharing news

hoarding dessert

laughs

arguments

before departing 

to our own lives

the table is the family

homecooked meals

mud and blood on white 

for the picky

dad at the head

mum to his left

oldest at the foot

i didn't realize then

that i was being shaped

that i was so lucky 

#127 each had a yellow sword

two yellow swords

battle of the bowl

two young brothers

swords crossing through

one another's

manhood displayed

the battle 

short

ends 

in two smiles

and one flush

before dinner

#126 bless you

in kootenai mountain time
a day is a sneeze in history
an ocean floor thrust upwards

over time

overhead

over all

trilobytes and friends invite discovery

the world, Earth

turning over in her sleep

#125 missing out

i'm a musical snob

i like it independent

undiscovered

no top 40

i like their older stuff

their first album was the best

but what do i miss out on

i'm a social snob

only interact with visible characters

dreads

free-spirits

no to name brands

#124 the couple i hope we are

the farmer holds his wife's hand

under the small-town bar table

his eyes happy, relaxed

and she

white-haired, youthful, energetic, free

they split a burger special

when the waitress returns

with two plates

his eyes hint disappointment

after the waitress leaves

with mischievous moustache, he steals a fry from her plate

with hearty laugh, she steals one fry from his

then, under the table, their hands find each other

#123 thank-you, friend

i nurtured

loved 

and encourged

then i grieved 

as i let that part of me die

then

a friend came along

a stranger then

but now a great friend

and saw life in that part of me

#122 against all odds

on a raft flowing down a medium river

i feel tiny

walls on both sides cut off the world

but for a strip of sky straight above

walls of rock

i'm at the foot of enormous cliffs

my neck stretches back

three quarters way up one wall of rock

is a tree

a tree

i see no dirt

the tree grows out a bit at its base

and then up

how does this life exist in that place

#121 love

making the bed when you won't be there

a note with the lunch

doing a chore that's not yours

eating the heel of bread because they don't like it

warming their side of the january bed

#120 long live the book

to fall asleep upon

to host a bookmark

to appreciate in stores and libraries

the sound and feel of turning a page

to give

to receive

the smell of new

all this and more

#119 windows

pull down menu

Clear History

or

Show All History

what if life was like my Mac

windows into my father's childhood

options to omit life-regrets 

one click

Home

Back

Help

Save 

Edit

Quit

#118 midnight

another liquid heart-to-heart

passes my window

loud

mostly decipherable

two male voices

@#$@ her man

#$@! her

drunk guys talk about girls

drunk girls about guys

misunderstandings 

and differences 

and need

and the voices float away

#117 my lobster fishing career

4am alarm clock

drunk with tiredness

i somehow roll out

angus is there

coffee and smile on

are my eyes even open

by 5am we're on the water

the sun paints the sky

an easel 

changing every minute

i'm a university student

called as an extra hand

the last day of the season

today cement-weighted traps 

hauled up for the season

the catch is small

both men 

twice my age

work quiet

the weight of the traps is too much for me

after an hour of pretending

poorly

that i'm okay

i flop

are you faggin' out

i'm mad

not because of the rude comment

but because i can't meet their challenge

i need another minute

they send me home 

with a story to tell 

anytime i hear someone call fishermen lazy

#116 the wait of apples

when will we learn

some apples are to be eaten

but we label those that fall without giving us nourishment

a waste

round irregular trees

we humiliate into ordered rectangular orchard

feed them water stolen from river

river knows

apple knows

tree knows

but they are older, wiser

#115 delete

sunday morning

stressing over our telus bill

i grab my bike and close the door

two empty cotton bags

balled between fist and handlebar

sunday market, rotary park, 11 am

in time for lemon cupcakes

the sun, i grin

came for the cupcakes too

kids go wild on jolly-jumper rafts

dogs sniff dogs

people pay cash

all as i load up on the vegetables

our sofa-size garden lacks:

chard, peppers, corn-on-the-cob

then a snack

and a warm loaf of bread,

unsliced

the walkabout, smaller than a softball infield

equals fifty minutes of smalltown conversation

how's your summer

oh, hey how're things

we should ride together tomorrow

what're you up to today

et cetera

until

i wander to my waiting townie-bike

unlocked

i balance the bags

precarious

one per handlebar

shades of garden-green overflow

i wobble home

comical version of a strongman farmer's-walk

open the unlocked door

check my e-mail

message from a buddy

suggesting my girlfriend and i

move to the city, calgary

attached is a high-paying job posting

ridiculously high paying

i look to the cotton bags

smile back to the monitor

poke the key

#114 searching for a three-leaf clover

why

when man meets at a mountain

his eyes are drawn to the peak

and his being is tempted to the summit

ignoring the foot

a boy in a field of clover

spends hours searching for a four-leaf

attracted to the rare

but how beautiful the three

two identical wines

side by side

with different price tags

we rate taste according to the tag

the unattainable

the rare

the expensive

can we see 

and appreciate

the beauty

the miracle

in the simple

the ordinary

the mundane

letters

straight lines

a single breath

all amazing

 

#113 questions of home

an ocean, a mountain

a battle without arms

my family, my community

my struggle within

home

more than words and numbers on an envelope

can home exist anywhere

can it be multiple places

is home a place or a feeling

are nomads and travelers never at home

or always

is anyone always at home

buddha, dalai lama

or have they transcended home

what of the home with adults yelling

or worse, not talking

if a home is broken, is it still a home

what makes one more homeless,

dirty cardboard box

or painted concrete facade

born on the ocean

living in the mountains

across the miles

within myself

a mountain, an ocean

ebb and flow

rise and erode

ebb and flow

rise and erode

#112 is there?

is there a home for me in your scars

i won't yell or hit

is there a spot for me in there with the tears you fight to keep

i won't break trust

are you willing to accept an umbrella

under the thick rain-cloud that sits above you

everywhere

i don't mean to scare you

i just see the little girl

i understand your anger and your shell

i want to find a home in your scars

#111 supper rush

loud music

changing

hierarchical battle

some sing

some curse

timers and sizzling and shouting

fractions multiplied

portions divided

tempers and flambes flare

then

breaktime

breathe

and back again

#110 campfire audience

empty dock

beside laugh-filled campfire

a still night

but no one's still enough to notice

busy having fun

making friends and living memories

the sun retired two hours back

but enough light still reaches

to make a dusk

i search the lodgepoles

for movement

for sway
none

a quiet act ends

to a thunder of applause

and i watch dusk

change to darkness around me

alone

i listen to the fun

#109 bedtime

exhausted

i stumble up stairs

keeping my eyes

from pulling shut

my body

feels like 

i downed a fistful of sleeping pills

but i just 

i had 

a long

hard 

full day

i open bedroom door 

enter

too tired for happiness

i look at the bed

and remember

the sheets

down in the laundry

in the wash-machine

#108 i thought you were happy

behind tears are tears

behind smiles are smiles

or sometimes tears tears

we hide sadness anxiety frustration

with smiles

but not laughter with tears 

#107 stuff

stuff fills my life/clothes rarely worn, fill drawers and closets/books, already read, fill tables and shelves/trinkets, useless and unnoticed/own walls and corners\\as i look at all these belongings, all this stuff/i think, there is something to be said for

space

#106 old farts, old wives, whippersnappers, and spring chickens

has there ever been a generation 

that didn't worry about its young predecessor

are we the only species that does this

kids will be kids

and

like adults

they'll have moments 

of incredible brilliance and promise

and moments of sheer idiocy and stupidity

and

at some point

they'll worry about their predecessors

#105 after rain

sky 

shades of grey-and-white, dark-and-bright

ground

wet and puddled

air 

clear and quiet

people and the other animals

hiding in stores and shelters

the sky is already brighter

soon blue will conquer the sky again

but 

for now

i enjoy the moment

#104 three-ticket ride

that ferris-wheel stomach

just before the smile

2 o'clock angle

the feeling

it doesn't go away

little things cause it

paperwork, phone calls, outings

anxiety fills my perspective and my lungs

inhaling restricted

for me, the cure is three-part

movement
getting outdoors

and letting go

#103 running, trains, and poetry

it's a marathon

not a sprint

to keep a train moving

requires more energy than

get

ting

it

started

to move a ton one inch

is harder than the next ten inches

a poem a day is better than

twenty poems once a month
maybe better than
forty poems once a month

#102 mine-town train

a horn cuts the white noise of the everyday

locals hardly notice

tracks shake

before a garland of cars chug through

going west

a million dollars worth of black

going east

nothing

the black shakes my bed at night

woke me for the first three nights 

and never since

#101 bitter perspective

what can i say of a place and a sound

whose  best redeeming qualities

are 

white squall

mosquito-breeding havens

and #4

the hooters' streets are tired

though imitate life for summer 

yes

there are good clips too

loon's bleat

paddle's gurgling tornado

but i'll not rush to return

#100 (yeah, that's right) one thing

i run

10-minute miles

never been called fast

running teaches me things

i'm amazed 

how easily 

one day off

turns into 

one week off

like a freight train

so much more energy

to start

once momentum

is broken

#99 at home in distant mountains

june fifth

mountains 

green but snow-dipped

nestle me

here

as home sneaks around me

#98 small town

friday night

8 o'clock

kids dropped off 

two blocks from their friends

as if parents don't exist

or hiding the decade-old family car

they meet

in fields

under bridges

at playgrounds

by quiet streetlight

hours later

chewing chocolate bars

masking smell

chatty with parents 

but trying not to breathe

#97 hot feet and sprinklers

lounging

lazing on a tube down the river

beverages in tow

warm evenings and cold beers

water games and fireworks

racing your melting ice-cream

green everywhere

and trails filled with life

hats and mitts are forgotten

in a box

back of closet

forgotten evidence 

another world 

another life

forced out of mind

blizzards and flurries and snow-cones

a different language

#96 when the other far doth roam

she's back

whirlwind of life

items invade, floors and counters disappear

his inner compass spins, as though at a pole

routine

wiped out

calm existence

shattered

she's back

he feels life and smiles

#95 THIS IS A DEAD END

armed with blueprints

made by his hand

and a sack of supplies

and a vision

he turns left

the lot at the end of the cul-de-sac

his

had been for 3 hours now

he reaches in his sack

removes duct tape and a sharpie

marks

BEGINNING

and continues to the road sign 

#94 a shining armour

her beautiful panoply 

gets her in trouble

and protects her

in bars after midnight

the girl 

half a wedding-reception

stares at

the half that includes the groom

she will cause mens fists

to hit mens faces

and a few will see beneath her tight sarong

but none beneath her panoply

#93 irish metal music

clank

clank

tink 

tink

then 

a rhytm

1-2 3-and-4

clank-clank clank-tink-clank

1-2 3-and-4

clank-clank clank-tink-clank

warmed up 

now come the tricks

antics

for the audience

lightning gallops

and head-banging rakes

metal

on metal

one instrument

two spoons

#92 revolutionary

poetry

poet tree

poe at three 

po' at three

poet tree

poetry

#91 deep in the woods

thank you

to the people who have turned their backs on us

the people who have left us

for unknown unmarked cabins

deep in the woods

places that we would rather

hang on the wall

than visit

thank you

you give me hope that when we fail

worthwhile will still exist

and we will fail

i am afraid of the day or night

our gluttony and plundering and pillaging

fail

but i hope its soon

#90 embracing procrastination

would schoolbags ever get clean without 

procrastinating studying for exams

would this poem get written

if not for the overwhelming sensation 

my novel brings me

and reading

all those great books and words

absorbed and forgotten

all excuses out of daunting to-do lists

dishes

cleaning

phoning friends

getting outdoors

all benefits of procrastination

#89 when you're done reading my poem

when the world puts you down

when your couch lures you to laze

get up

when you're procrastinating on the computer

when you're a boxer on the mat

get up

get up

when you're in bed missing out on your day

when you're sitting there watching injustice

when your tv sucks your brain

get up

get up

get up

do something epic

#88 misleading

she has no clue

what i've done

she smiles

unknowing

secrecy

lies

hidden encounters

deceit

our friends know

but they won't tell

they wouldn't

want

to ruin

 

the birthday surprise

#87 don't yawn

i stare 

through the glow from my alarm clock

at sleepless ceiling 

stressed

i try deep-breathing

ovine counting

relaxing

but trying to relax 

is like pushing yarn

i resort to praying

with

and without

expletives

then

the sleep-deprived ceiling

offers a suggestion

i try my hardest to stay awake

to keep my eyes staring

through the neon light

and

i fight sleep

like the 10 year-old me

willing my eyelids 

to stay open with dad's

for the tv

third...  

third period

and just...

#86 time, money, and raspberry jam

mum had a theory

the theory of raspberry jam

every sunday 

she filled a grocery cart 

for a family of eight

her well-tested theory:

jar is empty on thursday

whether a small 

or jumbo

#85 ah camp

hemp

gimp

beads

all camp bling

sandal tans

and dirt lines

damp swimsuits

dock talks

sunscreen

and burnt ears

homesickness

followed by tears of leaving

#84 nb

they'll get me there

the 26.2

and all the miles 

between 

here and there

race day lace-up

will be 

a sanctified ceremony

they'll get me through

all weather

all obstacles

all failure

they'll get me to the starter's gun

and over a finish ribbon

discarded long before our arrival

they'll get me there

#83 beware of red

head

wine 

sign

danger

one 

turns into 

two

turns into...

brush of shoulder 

turns into

hand on thigh 

turns into...

#82 what happened?

the sieve of memory holds the good

the wish-i-were-anywhere-else's

slide through openings that grow with time

until childhood is a breeze

puberty, a dream

high school, a fairy tale

no enemies

no boring days

no wishing for freedom

no when-i'm-a-grown-up's

perhaps it's better that way

not to have to answer

to our childhood selves

#81 mountain watching

through the window

the three sisters beckon

bird of prey

headless

between proctor and the other

tooth-like in appearance

wings of stone

risen from an ocean floor

watching without eyes

#80 mum (accepted in "message in a bottle')

she had a space that was hers

eight by eight

counter

sink

fridge

stove

cupboards

her space

command centre

and if offspring entered

she'd scold or tease

(depending on patience)

out from under my heels

accurate for the first two

but by the time the sixth

intruded the zone

some had passed her in height

supper would be ready

when her man entered

lunchbox in hand

exhausted

and always something for his sweet tooth

chocolate cake

chocolate chip cookie

chocolate haystack

(yes, theme noted)

sometimes dishes right after supper

sometimes after their 6 o'clock news

teacups in hand

strong

later she'd prepare lunches

a relaxed flurry

bread and sandwich meat and snacks and fruit and wax paper and lunchbags and boxes

then

she'd find her book and her chair

and sink into both

before bedtime

#79 the cycle

i stay in the shower

re-scrubbing

re-rinsing

watching the suds swirl 

out of sight

not ready to face today

a normal day

not ready

finally

i exit into the towel

back to bed

read

eat lunch

leftovers

again

internet

tv

any invention or excuse 

supper

not hungry

crackers

the week and the weekend

are the same

evening drags

then bedtime 

and i promise 

tomorrow

tomorrow

again

#78 two seasons

meets her through friends of friends

knows she's attractive

but for weeks

denies his body's thoughts 

she is reminded of others in her life

he opposites the immature ones 

gentle

patient

drawn not by his body 

but to it

through his aura and mind

advances are slow

imperceptible

but after two seasons

winter and spring

fall together 

between bedside lamps

#77 anxiety and depression

body tightens

slouches

phone ignored

breathing

from the mouth

yesterday's clothes will do

procrastination rules

and belief in your own word

drops

withdraw

into your community

your house

your room

your body

#76 this we'll destroy

got a girl overseas

patriotic weapon by her pillow

full of taxpayer ammunition

as cnn scares my nightmares

decal ribbons on my toyota

support our troops

all i can do

her empty pillow fights tears

lonesome

helpless

angry

and no one knows why you're there

daniel's sandwiches fall apart

before the lunch bell rings

he shows

the few pictures we receive

brags

collector sports cards

and i know you're due home soon

and i pray to the one i curse

that you'll make it

but what then?

#75 a ride on the john deere

the world shrinks

slips away

my young ankles

bounce

along the trail

in the wake of my ancestral manhood

driven now by my father

the exhaust clears its throat

as i sit on the frankensteined rear platform

then my feet

pseudo-run

backwards

imagining their strength to push the tractor

and my father

in the driver seat

the world shrinks

slips away

into the distance

behind my father

ahead of me

#74 to die happy

to treat the king as i treat the janitor

we are all equal

crown on head or plunger in hand

to appreciate my parents and their struggles

accept the things i wouldn't do

admire the things i couldn't do

to tap the 8-ball when force is unnecessary

not for karma's sake but because it is right

to know the power of surrender

to find, only after i stop seeking

to learn to ignore the false voice

that screams premature surrender

to save the face of others

and to be able to face myself

when my own face feels lost

to thank those around me for their contributions

to smile at strangers

and to listen to people in need

to behave
not because my actions might be recorded

not because a well-selling sacred book says so

but to live according to my own inner god, my voice

whisper and shout

what is right

to live with mistakes i made

earning my position at the start line

struggling to the finish ribbon

broken or not

to accept and to learn

and to sleep

tired

smiling

knowing

#73 late june

not snow

it's june

not dandelion fluff

as many think

a wandering white-out

a moseying monsoon

a flurry of cottonwood seed

approaching ground

enjoying the scenic route

where it lies 

waiting for a disturbance

to bring more

lazy adventure

#72 drop those books

the days grow 

for one more week

even the strict ones

take us outside 

the sun

cooks our room

slowing the clock

i'm convinced

after-school snacks

come from the freezer

and supper from the barbeque

when the teacher rings the bell

#71 contrast

when will we evolve into trees

content to put down roots

to recognize the power of competition

and when it is time to give back to the Earth

to help the others

to spend a life reaching and living and content

does it always need to start things?

can't it be omitted?

can it be justified in a margin

(left or write)?

or 

placed at the end

extra 

pazow 

the title

#69 first drafts

a seed is planted

compost is mixed

something will grow

tended or not

eaten or not

something is here

the step has been taken

something is in motion

a cosmos is changed

#68 just like a big boy

seeing the top of the fridge

toes reaching the bottom of the bed

going into the store alone

driving

on lap

supervised

alone

buying a first house

knee touching the floor to propose

sending the child into the store alone

living

for self

for family

for society

#67 inspired by Lifting

head against bird's window

eyes see clouds

mind sees memories

a new life-season begins

darkness and inspiration fight for space 

between overhead compartment

and floataion device

she shifts back

headrest

reclines all three inches

relief and the unknown

fill her stomach

along with in-flight pretzels

#66 vena amoris

old anger rests under dust

once shiny and new and promising

now a forgotten black box

back corner of closet shelf

once everything

now nothing

then

one knee'd

now

no need

#65 the unspecial brink

when putting feet to floor overwhelms

when breaths won't go down past the mouth

and life piles up

in front

around

behind

on top

monthly reports are overdue at work

and the visa bill remains in the pile of papers

unopened

life feels like a to-do list item

when luck and happiness

mix to form guilt 

when competence feels like a lie

and adulthood 

a mean trick

when motivation and paycheque are spent

credit card and energy maxed out

when you can't finish what you start

#64 US

America

an empire sick on and of itself

America

bloated and obese and still eating

drive-thru jumbo biggie-size crap

America

glued to our plasma screens

fear and boredom and convenience and procrastination

tv and all its potential

become social masturbation

passing time until we sleep

sports highlights and youtube and celebrity gossip

idle idols

what is the return policy on these choices we make?

#63 from a park bench

floats and bobs and floats and bobs

a life of leisure and bread crumbs

then

Golden Retriever

Splash!

and they take flight

hawnking squawking

winged bowling pins

#62 campfire smoke and lake water

not a kid

not a teen
not really
license yes
independent no
not really
the finding-yourself years
want to work with kids
a teacher?
a psychologist?
a nurse?

and so they roll in
white and clean
many driven by mum and dad

a summer passes

they return home
exhausted
some decisions made
dirt-tans under flip-flops
hemp-memories on wrists
finding out that you never find yourself
or you always find yourself
depending on how things are going

#61 i do not

rusty wedding bells

silent conversations

doors closing 

words bottled

germinating within souls

poisoning society

walk outside

don't forget your smiles

#60 the white one / albino-sphere / that's my cue

booed every failure

never cheered

successes unnoticed 

blame without glory

involved in every game

every break

every shot

every set-up

every leave

a life behind the scenes

not high or low

or stripe or solid

none of the rep of the 8

#59 feedback / haven't seen her since

her first piece was high-schoolish

self-absorbed ramble

we said

great voice

good variety of sentences

the next was decent

stumbling with moments of quality

we said

tight language

good visual images

the next was enjoyable

i was sad the ending disappeared

we said

excellent opening

real characters

the next was even more solid

confusing in parts

we said

confusing

...

#58 looking around, looking back

tired furniture
dusty guitar

hair and grit

between sofa cushions

dead

a twelve year old's voice

disapproves from within

prime minister?

visionary?

philanthropist?

on a cushy salary

dead

#57 Bull Fighter

It is coming at me

Like a train

It is arriving soon

actually loudly thundering

it is coming at me

the rather large animal

Today I will but defeat it

I charge at the red

He waves a red blanket

At the bull

Your bull stampedes upon paper 

Empty cliches

Inactive verbs

Redundant adverbs

Passive voice

Flat characters, general words

Phony dialogue, confusing pronouns

Inconsistent POV

I wave my red pen

At your bull

-your editor

#56 a wish granted

dome cave

lonely paradise

rock walls

sand floor

BigStar's light 

travels over unnamed ocean 

up the beach

through igloo-like entrance

lifesize-plus statue

a forgotten culture

hand, bowl-shaped

holds sand and pebbles

each pebble a wish

for the millenium's soul-searching traveller

a tremor

trembles the 30-foot world

sand and pebbles rain to the floor

stillness

#54 disposable rant

america's lost

not the war

itself

lost itself

among satellitesitcomsandstyrofoamandfoilwrappersdisposablecupsdisposableeverything

disposable everything

even disposable income

what do Depression survivors think of that term

disposable income?

lost itself among stuff

stuff

does it have the stuff to find itself?

does it have the stuff to point the finger at itself?

is there room for humility

for humble apologies?

apologies to the backs we've broken on this free ride

to the child-slave-laborists

to the people

to the countries

#53 Cash and fame

freight car 

from his soul

building

below booze

Building

below pollution

BUILDING

so lonesome he could cry

and beside dylan

lonely pianist

lonely souls

lonely in fame

lonely in search

lonely in song

famous in life

famous in death

lonesome in both

#52 educational convenience

26 faces gaze

empty-eyed

sick from force-fed knowledge

society fills their time

8 'til 3

under official cloak

Curriculum Outcomes Objectives

while parents drone

through well-paying

unrewarding jobs

the bigger Littles question the worshipping, the False Gods

MarkBooks, ReportCards, Because-I-Said-So's

revolt with rolled eyes

and apathetic posture

a bell rings

small rectangle tributaries

spill into the Hallway confluence

herded by the Tall-Ones

Littles empty into the biggest rectanglest room

to eat

while a few Tall-Ones shout orders

no room

for elbows or individuality

#51 lost loves, found laundry

i lost a shirt once
a good shirt
a great shirt
one of my favourites
my favourite

the bad of us
is interring with the bones

i remeber your smile
your laugh
your meals

i forget
what i forget:

argumentstemperandangrywords

i remember
the library
the watermelon game
late night phone calls


i compare
the reality of now
the fairy tale of then

today's real struggle
yesterday's imagined bliss

the shirt?
found.

faded
stained
thin

Ugly

#50 marathon training

run 

run 

run 

run 

run

rest... 

repeat

#49 the kid behind the counter

to go..? 

or

are you staying?

hmph

i wish i knew

to stay

safe 

easy

default

to go

risk

unknown

adjustment

goddamn

pimple-nose

minimum-wage-makin burger-flipper

#48 local legend

red baby barn his home

two miles past town-limit

whole town makes fun of him

takes care of him

new RCMP learn about him 

earlier  than they learn about our 24-hour Timmys 

you know right away he's the town-crazy 

the too-fast walk

unlaced workboots

odd objects carried

   especially the hatchet

   (never in town... anymore)

he is legend

kids stories and dares

adult stories and gossip

municipal celebrity

#46 gender cut

women

a cut above

sharp looks

superior stylez

a relationship

new, bright, $39.50

men

Dan's

John's

Walter's

 a shooting of the shit

outdated, dingy, 10 bucks

#45 OFF

the bigger the house

the better chance of the neon glow

though i did see one

where 

all the bodies were laughing together

or at least simultaneous

all eyes on the same box

a half-hour a day

130+ hours a year

almost a week

imagine

a week

in an average life

more than a year

#44 recurring kindergarten nightmare

teacher lines up our stuffed animals

saws their necks with a steak-knife

like carrots

we fight tears

amy loses

Mrs Ward speaks

from her oak throne

Shut your little mouth

You Crybaby

hands back our headless friends

i can't look at my Ernie

i'll cry

i look to the throne

happy plastic eyes stare

#43 six and a half hours

i started out ok

but i broke around midway
about 20k

legs aching

lungs begging

my stride a slo-mo stumble

bibs passed me like i was standing still

all friendly

offering encouragement

keep going,

next station's just around the bend,

this is the last bad hill

never before have i experienced so much

consecutive kindness

wonderful examples of humanity

and i wanted

to punch them all in the nose

#42 april snowstorm

overnight surprise

leaf piles

now clean white bundles

freshly sweeped streets

covered by snow and late cursing drivers

bicycles

yesterday common

today comical

rushing to find

hats and mitts and boots and scrapers and brushes

flip-flops laugh goodbye from entryway

stores open 5 minutes late

as morning shifts blow in

flip things on and

machines and registers

then

OPEN

#41 the wiggler

today my teacher called me 

pumpkin-grinner

i pulled this one out last night

and 'is on' herah

got stuck 

in my bologna thandwich

i found it 

thmeared in mustard

an 'is on' herah

my tongue knocked out at recess

and its neighbour flew out 

when i blew my nose

and this one

is a wig-

hey

it came out

#40 company cleanup

mother worried our house was cluttered

and when the phone warned of company

you and you 

laundry

you

bring that pile of stuff up

from the bottom of the stairs

(there were always piles at the bottom of the stairs) 

you

wipe down the bathroom sink

(i wondered why we "wipe down"  yet "tidy up"

but i knew better than to ask during frenzies

and during frenzies were the only times i wondered)

it's filthy

Go

and when i was a kid

i believed 

our house was messy

everywhere we visited 

neat and tidy

and spotless too

now i know

a house's neatness is best 

when it expects a guest 

#39 leash in hand

i stroll neighbouring april blocks

gaze up

amazed by sky and stars

and air and freshness

look around and down
my shoulders sink
weight of depression from the artificial-glow flickering from so many windows

and convenience-wrappers and disposable cups spoiling the night

she stops

i dig in my pocket

voices

drunk

on a parallel street

sharing a heart-to-heart with the town

n'im not just say'n th (hiccup) s'cuz i had s'm drinks

she looks up, pants, wags, smiles

i kneel, scoop, tie, stand

still

she pants, wags, smiles...

and i can't help but grin

#38 tolstoy and dylan

hey bob

are ya tired

of askin

how many roads?

others asked

long before you

and-peter-and-paul-and-the-lady

neil's got it right

how do we

keep on rockin

in a world free

on the backs of others

from countries

beneath us in our planes

and neatly bordered

only on our maps

we still ask

what is it good for

ain't Absolutley Nothin

but Stuff

endless Stuff

bob

are ya tired

of askin

how many roads?

#37 covers dylan

bob

note

give your life a tuning

too many frets

and strings attached

rest your tired body

your warped mind and neck

where up is down and down is up

capo life

pick a lie

convince yourself

its no cheat

sell your soul to Our dark hole

let them pick up the tab

for a 30 second spot

#36 of oceans and mountains

i know a lot of fishermen who can't swim

but no mountain men who can't hike

the mountain provides conquest accomplishment

the ocean laps sadness and submission

people climb mountains to reach the top

the ocean gives a modest living or solitude

follow the trail of another, up and up

one blue-green path, endless

#35 competition

thanks to the person in front of me

in front of me the whole way

sometimes just steps

hear her breathing

sometimes shrinking around the bend

thanks for starting just ahead of me

and enjoying the

finish-line just ahead of me

com and petere

striving together

thanks

for my personal best

#34 chain letters

saddle up for

travel

free-ride

cross-country

all-mountain

know your roots

slipped discs equal slipped discs

them's the brakes

right mindset

right headset

a Giant difference

the right frame

the right frame of mind

duels and hard-tails

fools and hard-tales

single-track mind

derailleured

climbs and drops

dream$ and shops

when you come to forks in the road

point your forks down the road

and that will make all the difference

#33 a great school day

i got a drive to school

our teacher used coloured chalk in Math

we had outdoor recess

i got a sticker on my Spelling Bee

we had free-write

and...

i won the weekly draw!

#32 kids

i'm the adult

i'm supposed to know

supposed to be patient

supposed to be fair

i'm the grown-up

i'm supposed to understand

supposed to be serious

supposed to be loving

i'm the adult

not supposed to think bad things

not supposed to favour

not supposed to get annoyed

#31 old grief

his remains

lie

a box in the earth

my memories

live

a box in my mind

thoughts and feelings

atrophy-and-swell-and-sleep-and-scream

until:

-random

Scrabble

colander

marble

or

-key dates

Accident-anniversary

birthday

christmas

open my box

i feel

i remember

his glasses strap

elastic

black

worn

his characteristic nondescript fashion

monochromatic shirts

multi-ownered pants

classic wallabees

and i smile inside

until

smiles turn liquid

travel lacrimal labyrinth

his Dad's eyes

in funeral home

dead

returning the library book

Overdue and stained

red

i close the box

sometimes slam

sometimes squeeze

Rejoin this world

#30 young protection

sitting on floor

2 year-old sister in lap and left arm

the jungle book in right hand

he reads louder

hoarse whisper in her ear

end of page

right hand extends

book reaches door

touches below knob

swings door shut

he rocks

to hide his body's trembles

the yells muffle

bangs become thumps

big brother's report card