#1172 a guevara fan

last night 150000 revolutions spun around above my head
the noise was slight
unlike the impact
then, this morning
with the flick of a switch
revolutions finished
and the air was still

#1170 on having my license for 19 years

they used to fascinate me
waaaarrm-cool-warm
now they feel everyday
i pass under without noticing
the miracle
the wonder
the other-worldliness
this is nothing to be passed over
yet
that's exactlt what it is

#1171 table of contents

if i carried mine around
if they saw my earlier chapters
then they could understand
why apples and peanut butter
like oxeye daisies
make me happy then sad
and why baby carrots just make me sad
given a quick overview
they could decide whether they wanted to read me
i am an unfinished book
just begun my thirty-fifth chapter
i have an ending in my outline but
for me
outlines and actual endings never match up

#1169 dread

i preserve words in mason jars
for winter days when i will welcome their warmth
i pack them in sentences and paragraphs
seal them with two-piece lids
set them high on basement shelves
these times of wealth and smiles will end
and words will see me through

#1168 in memorium

a tree
just a tree
symmetrial-ish
but imperfect
no distinguishing features though
just a tree
but so much more to me
roots of memories of what could have been
leaves that die
but come alive again
a tree
life
growth
the things i waste my life wishing for

#1167 letter from student to teachers

you're failing me, by passing me
each time i hand in less-than-mediocre work
i get mediocre marks
what does 70% even mean anymore
in a world where 50 is the new 30
if at graduation, more than half the class gets "special recognition"
is it special? is it even recognition?
your 60% insults me
it should say 40
i can handle failure
especially if it's mine and i earn it
because of these inflated marks i distrust:
you, the school system, adults, authority
stop failing me, and start failing me

#1166 childhood is a blink

a lost childhood motorcycle dinky toy
rusts in a childhood field
forgotten like the feel on teeth biting a popsicle
as life's ride speeds to breakneck speed
and we accept as ordinary
like frogs in slow-boiling water

#1165 rusted golf clubs

litter our lives
abandoned extravagence
my possessions
the "wants" outnumber the "needs" more than 99:1
the more wants i collect, the more i need
something's wrong...
we know what the problem is....
something that couldn't be more fixable:
us

#1164 dj papa

i was cool once
no really, i swear
i had expensive jeans that fit just right
knew what people talked about
had opinions on the latest in-nest lyrics

i was cool once
no really, i swear
then came that little fellow over there
now my jeans are stained with tutti-frutti
and i talk more babble than english
except for books that make my eyes heavy at bedtime

i was cool once
no really, i swear

and cool is overrated

#1163 writing wrongs

a mean word in kindergarten
a stolen dollar at age 10
an ignored friend in junior high
an inconsiderate break-up around grad
a superiority complex in university

#1162 on the chopping block

you pick the one
the oldest, the biggest, the toughest
and you use her
you abuse her
leaving scars and cuts that with time
turn into character

you bathe her imaginary feet
in bark and slivers
she is there
   every time
   years
and you never say thank you

#1161 the language tree

words fall, leaves from the language tree
sometimes i stand, letting their letters bristle by my cheeks
sometimes i scramble, catching words by bunches in my shirt-front
sometimes i sit, choosing them for specificity
today i watch
amazed
at how how words, by themselves, mean little
but add and gain meaning when beside others
then i am ready
i set down my words
freeing my hands

#1160 bay street, 12:24

the man's well-chosen shoes speed along the concrete in confident rhythm
in a city of millions, he feels like a king
leading with a tie he might never wear again
followed by a belly big enough to show wealth
tight enough to show the gym's battle against business dinners
accumulate, accumulate, accumulate
is that the goal
when does it stop

#1159 a sunny outlook

with her umbrella under-arm
she says she believes in the power of positive thining
i believe in positive thinking too
but i still carry an umbrella sometimes too
i've learned to see the joy in rainfall
and i am learning to see the miracle in a raindrop
positive thinking is not getting what you want by a snap of fingers
positive thinking is having a clear vision of what you want
while having the ability to be joyful in the times other things show up
or when what you wanted shows up in unexpected ways

#1158 making up

tell him "sorry"
then wake up your tired bed one last time
y' both are a concert by someone overdue for retirement
playing yawning gigs to pay overdue bills
tell him "sorry"
then wake up the bed one last time
the sheets, the pillows, the springs
remind him of what once was, what could have been
then pack the bed on your back
dig out your tacklebox and a food sack
go fishin for new dreams
don't you dare look back
just tell him "sorry" one last time
then leave him feeling all the connotations and denotations in the word

#1157 invisible bruises

these invisible bruises
hold pain that no one recognizes
no one credits
and hurt more often
because people bump it more often
unable to see what they'd avoid
and the bruisee
wavers between victim
and self-doubt
the pain is real
if only the bruise were visible

#1156 george's rabbit

hug you until you break
pet your head until you bleed
i've never had anything to love before
and so you carry it all
28 years of love

#1155 woken. spurred.

I was a horse. a sleeping horse. i did not know i was sleeping because, i was sleeping. then life kicked me. slammed her spurred heels into my flanks. not once but twice. first my left flank. i was gauging the depth of my gash, the smell of blood had not yet travelled to my nostrils. the words, "Life, why do you kick me with your spur?" not yet translated from pain to word, when she struck my right flank. before i was ready, life kicked me afresh.

But the second time, Life did not kick my wind out of me. all my wind was snorted out from the first kick. my wind was just about to be pulled back into me. i could not speak. yet i learned a new language. a language that had words my old language did not, letting me be more understood.

I learned. i learned Life's spurs are strong, and sharp, and random. but i also learned that Risk... is worth the risk. today, i always risk. i choose my risk, but i risk. always. every day. obstacles which scared me in my foal years, are commonplace in my stallion/gelding years. obstacles that scare me now, are signs. sale-signs marking discounts in bins containing good deals on tack, like Life-Lessons, Growth, and Strength.

Thank you, Life, for kicking me. for i was a sleeping horse. now i stand. woken. spurred. speaking truths in my new tongue, spoken word.

#1154 lyrics

haunting, guttural, black
but there is hope
never stated, but present
this river is dark
empty of colour and life
still there is hope
guilt, honesty, raw
but still
there is hope

#1153 eraser tears

hail hollers from my tin roof
someone above has seen inside me
angry at my ugliness
blue is eased from the sky
leaving a once white canvas
filled with grey and black eraser marks
light does not hide behind clouds
light is gone
the mastepiece is gone
leaving an insult to the canvas that preceded the masterpiece
today, poetry is useless repentence
for atrocities committed
victims watched
moments ignored
opportunities decayed

#1152 embers

lighting a match to logs
does not work
we think it does
because we see it work
an illusion

before the match
were tinder
twigs
kindling
decision making
big and small

the simpler the success seems
the more work preceded it