May 31, 2013

#1500 a mile

we rip families and cut communities apart
then act surprised and confused
when ripples continue a generation or two later
shocked that after disadvantaging them from womb to death
that they are prone to what we label bad decisions
my feet can't walk three steps in those shoes

#1499 less

her violent smile
gives me guilt
for sins uncommitted
still, her injured eyes
make me feel
i must have
and so she exploits the world
one meaningless item at a time

May 30, 2013

#1498 a small toast

hello teeny ears
can you separate music from sound, words from noise, lyric from song
hello tiny hands
do you know the line where you and the world meet
hello little nose
do you know Mother's smell after she leaves the room
hello new mouth
do you get tired, with everything being new
hello wide eyes
here's to you, always seeing yourself as perfect as i do

#1497 gone?

where is the pretty girl
the one whose scarf always matched her socks
where is the pretty girl
the one whose ear played toward her shoulder during her first words in our conversations
where is the pretty girl
the one who tries to hide her smile
a habit left over from adolescent braces
where is the pretty girl
tell her i miss her

May 29, 2013

#1496 fashion lessons

the mountain has packed away her winter clothes
revealing summer greens
vibrant
her ground holds heat the way she holds her inhabitants
without judgement or expectation
and like students in a foreign language class
or in a typing class
we fail to appreciate the merit of her lessons

#1495 sound philosophy

my favourite weight in this world
is the weight that i wait for each day
i wait for the weight of his weight on my chest
his ranine but angelic position
he has much to teach his dad and his world about perspective and sin and patience
all things which he cannot name and does not understand
skin to skin i stare at him and he
teaches me to be
just, to be
and in this profound moment between father and son
i smile
the way one smiles when he knows he has found a shortcut to the secrets of our universe
then i smile wider
because his response to this profound moment
is to release a significant amount of thunder down under

May 28, 2013

#1494 slippery trout laughing

i stand, roadside
knee deep in lake water
fishing with my hands for trout hanging out by the culvert
i've been fishing for three hours
and the fish still tease me
i can touch them, feel them slide away
watch them come back to tease me again
still i try
achieving the impossible
is worth the effort

#1493 change is imminent

this should be special
this should be more than a task, a dreaded chore
yet here i am
pushing plastic
filling space
spending life

May 27, 2013

#1492 how long is a second?

the screen door creeaaak-SLAMS
as we enter the playground called summer
lakes and bikes and beaches
the clocks remain the same
but the time they measure changes
late nights and forgotten mornings
oh slam door
let me be young again

#1491 touched

when i see her, i cry
she is not a sad person
i do not know her well
but she sings
and i heard her sing the right words at the right time in my life
now
when i see her, i cry

May 26, 2013

#1490 someone murdered the sheriff

who murdered the sheriff
cried the townspeople
fearful of a world without an authority
to tell them what is wrong and what is right
but they hear the deputy
survived and is doing well
and they sigh, relief
imagine a world
where we needed no sheriffs, no referees, no organizing committees
sleep well sheriff

#1489 lullabuy

lullabye goes the world
lulling itself to sleep
singing songs of self-corruption
and profit on the backs of the invisible
we can't see the crime if the victims live half a world away
each day we rock ourselves to sleep
rock a little harder
rock the sins away
rock away resonsibility
rock away ownership
rock a buy-ourselves-to-sleep

#1488 beneath the gear loft

the sleeping bag beside mine is empty
and in the morning i will pack it with me for the day
again
she loved camping
my beard grows long and tangled with my regret
i imagine her here, beside me
still i hear her voice
punishing myself
for the times i did not listen
for the kind words i left unspoken
for the times i was too busy to sit, to chat
i do not miss the expensive trips or the restaurant meals or the anniversary gifts
i miss the plain, the simple
their miracle

#1487 last night together

before you come up to bed henry
turn out the light
alice leans heavy on the rail
pulling her 78-year body to the second storey
a body battered by poverty and children and hard work and life
a life she feels blessed about
like a recovering patient, she removes her clothes
with stubborness and persistence
she listens for henry
but the tv is still on
while downstairs
the lightsgoes out for henry

#1486 80 clicks per hour

i'm floating up
a car sits in the ditch
my car
two wheels still spin
the last thing i remember
is changing songs on the radio
my baby boy
i fight to swim down
he's in the back he's in the back
then i hear him cry
and i feel the relief that i felt four years old
on the day he joined us
i'm floating up again
floating

#1485 pie

what was once a dream
is now a chore
this pie in the sky
is freezer burnt and stale
this mountaintop holds know valley view
this cereal prize
is cheap and plastic
still toil toils on
a habit of the namesake
soon to morph into something new
soon

#1484 haunted

ghosts are hiding in my eyeballs
i see them with my opens open
they haunt me with my eyes closed
i see their smiles
hear their kind words, their laughter
they are on my night ceiling
they are in my morning mirror\
haunting
and i feel blessed

#1483 white rabbit

smoke
in my eyes
but i sit
motionless
eyes open
smoke in my nostrils and lungs
but i sit at the campfire
and laugh and smile and smile and laugh with the others
drinking my oblivion into oblivion
for months,
numb has been my favourite emotion

#1482 awaiting spring

there's a big black hole
inside my soul
the sole reason of my existence and my destruction
a big black whole
darker than coal
where i spend each night on my pillow
someone paint my soul a cpring colour
yellow or red or lime-green
paint over this whole
this big black hole

#1481 straight from the hip

the sherriff looked tired
so i took him down
he had his alpha years
but then lost to me in a quick fair fight
i mourned his legend for a moment
not long enough for the buzzer flies to arrive though
now they call me a killer
but i feel the same
just a reputation to protect
and some day
some day
a young sheriff will take me down

May 20, 2013

#1480 apology to the woman ahead of me in the check-out line-up for not speaking up

you look tired
you look like this life is a mockery of what you dreamed of as a child
you look like you think life is something that happens to you
like you haven't felt the joy of waking up from a good sleep in years
please, tell me your problems
life has been good to me
i owe the world favours
please, put some of your load on my shoulders
as a thank you, i will try to remind your facial muscles how to smile
tell me about the kids and the job and the fellow (there's always a fellow)
you don't filter and i won't judge
tell me how you came to view each day as something to be passed
when did you give up believing that tomorrow might be great
why
what happened
please, tell me your problems

#1479 the smell after blowing out birthday candles

eyelashes and first stars
birthday candles and shooting stars
pennies in the well
all are wasted on me
my life, today
is my wish

#1478 green

between black asphalt and grey curb
lives a green weed
whispering that plants and nature
will outlive humans and technology
unless we stop and listen to the teachings all around us

#1477 haiku

happiness is in
extracting a dandelion
pulling, root and all

#1476 moderation

the sun is out but i am in
delayed gratification
feels like a sin
my friends run and play
whil;e i sit and work
delayed gratification
can be a real jerk
i can't sit here a moment longer
i'm going ou

#1475 T.I.D.

her eyes are borrowed from some woodland nymph
attractive innocence
her features form a maiden
smooth vulnerability
there is a skinny line between admirer and stalker

#1474 whitewalls

a clean car syas something about the man
but the statement dpends on the man
on the motivation
shine and wax
while your family's inside
your daughters grow up
without your eyes
rinse and shampoo
is this what you have to do
to chain the inner beast
keep him in his cage
buff out the rage

#1473 lake weekend

crank your window down pump your music up
find your friends, lose yourselves in the lake
fill the cooler, empty your mind
remember the sunscreen, forget the stress
chill the drinks, heat up the night
forget about it all, forget how to be fake
it's the weekend
we're heading to the lake

#1472 behind the fences

home is more than a rectangle
more than floors and walls and ceilings
more than welcome mats and wall trinkets
home is your place to go when the world gives you a black eye, then spits in it
home is the summer sound of an unpretentious beer opening
home is the window candle burning in a blizzard of long ago
home is more than a place for hosting
home is more than a place to house possessions
home is your favourite holiday meal
home is a shelter in the wild
home is more than four letters
home is its own alphabet that forms a language of comfort, of self, of belly-deep breathing

#1471 plain birds

i thought i was creative
but all my clouds look like planes and birds and spaceships
still i stare upward from on my back
surrounded by dandelions and dogshit
and all i can do is keep cloud-gazing
hoping my eyes and my creativity and the right cloud
unite
in a moment of perfection

May 19, 2013

#1470 sometime after recess and before adulthood

when did they leave
or was it me
as happy as i am to know i can live without them
i miss them
i miss the me that was
i knew life like the back of my hand
we can spin back the hands of clocks
wasted revolutions
but time is not manipulated in such ways
time is a precocious child
who must be tricked and smooth-talked and deceived
into doing what we want
and even then
the best we can hope for
is small steps

#1469 11:34

the clock shows four digital 1's
she tells me make a wish
not knowing she is my wish, my bliss, this
her
him
me
family
23 minutes pass
and i am reminded of the hell that was my life
before she turned my hell upside down
showing me heaven in a meal for two
now three

#1468 inspection

when i come around
maintain your pace
embrace your ordinariness
do not look busy for me
i want to see the miracle of the everyday
for everyday, you change lives
underestimation comes in the form of repetition

#1467 fade to black

love was an arrangement
now it's a far-fetched impossibility
hollywood's sheets never stain
and her make-up smears to perfection
they can say they find the truth of the story in the lies of the screen
but i know better
any story of love cannot be told in the two hours between credits

#1466 the nail

his hands were owned and tagged by the cigarettes and the hours given to underpaid labour
with ten kids you don't choose work, work chooses you
a tea is a tea
he watched his grandchildren throw away things that were miracles just a couple decades before
he outlived his time
and like the rest of us
time outlived him
i hope his was a simple box, well-crafted

#1465 childhood in a pail

scratched hot wheels
in a one gallon bucket
and all the hours they fill
garages and races and construction projects
everyone needs a dixie lee and a tow truck

#1464 after dark

hello night
this day's fullness
makes you a welcome guest
the pole in the pillow pulls my head to slumber
hard work and fresh air with a fresh conscience
brings the best from sleep

#1463 held

in the middle of our living room, surrounded by furniture and walls
enveloped by our house, our property
held by our community, hugged by mountains

#1462 family

it's 11:11
says my wife
make a wish
but i pretend to wish because this life is bliss
with heer and him
and me and them

May 18, 2013

#1461 and cross your t's

eyeballs are disturbing out of their sockets
naked and disturbing
all you want to do do is pick them up and stick them in
but the last thing you want to do is touch them
and even when they're gone from your sight
time drags before you can see regular ones the same again

#1460 three hands and a face

the night burns into day
as day walks into evening
time laughs at our digital clocks
laughs herself to sleep at night
beneath the sky-lights
beneath blue and black and greys
and morning shades of blood and autumn
time is a lake
and a dessert
time is darkness
time is light
time is a billion years of fill-in-the-blank metaphors
she never flies straight
she's laughing to hard
at the ticking of our time-telling devices
telling us nothing
precisely
nothing

#1459 mommy's belly smiles

mommy's belly smiles
since the day you entered this world
through the door the doctors built
special for you
mommy's belly smiles like daddy's mouth
happy you're here
adding colour to our pack of crayons
mommy's belly smiles
and daddy's proud of her
for every breath she breathes
from inside of her belly's smile
to out past her lips
diamonds are silly rocks
but love and parenthood and you
these are what makes the word special sound inadequate

#1458 pumping platelets

helicptors land and still i hear your heart beat-beat
beat-beat
something quits
the pump ceases because there is not enough blood left to pump
giving up happens when purpose disappears
platelets and blood cells flow across peat
red on black
flowing
searching wholes in the soil
forever searching for something so wothwhile
becoming a smaller part of something bigger

#1457 lub-dub

what is a heart but a long-lasting pump
how can people hurt a pump
it still beat-beats
despite the abuse
it still beat-beat-beats despite you
just like a knife in the heart
the pain came from the injury
but the death came from the removal of the blade

#1456 by dad

i wake him
to guarantee myself he's breathing
i stare at him
to convine myself he's there
i hold him
to remind myself he's mine
i love him
because there is no other way

#1455 jealous poet

his font is normal
but his text reshapes my tete
his words share an alphabet with mine
but they speak a language more intense
i remind myself that seemless ease and perfection
come only with practice
thousands and thousands of hours of practice

#1454 happily out of tune

the guitar
the running shoes
the writing notebook
   all sit idle
ever since his life entered mine

#1453 first son

i thought i loved her
i thought the feeling i had each time i saw her was love
but then mixed half of her and half of me
and the love that i filled my world
the only way it's possible
is that she made my world grow too

#1452 pride

they warned me
smug, i thought i understood
they warned me
about love
and change
and sleep
they warned me
but here i am
a proud new dad

May 12, 2013

#1451 Jack and the Beans Talk

Jack had beans for breakfast
Lunch was loads of chilli
Bean burritos were for supper

Now Jack's Mum and Dad say, "Bedtime, Jack"
Jack's Mum says, "Shhh..."
Jack's Dad says, "Shhh..."

But Jack his wide and long awake
He wants to walk, he wants to talk
(And so do his beans)