#1450 joyless kill

The coyote yelps and twists in pain
The hunter in anguish too
Seeing the pain in his five inch miss
With the power of the gun
Comes the pain in responsibility
He fires another
The coyote drops
Motionless
The hunter lowers the gun
Embarrassed

#1449 oscar

and i had days when i wanted to move in with him
rent my own room in the trash can
i had days when the world seemed like a worse choice
days full of mean words and worse feelings
i had days when i heard all that oscar left unsaid
how many cool spaces there were in there
hidden oases, cardboard-covered shelter
where demands and deadlines were not allowed
i had days when i wanted to get past his grouchness
see what gem he was hiding for himself
and other days
he was just a green puppet in a garbage can

#1448 john done

i can't write a poem about the forest, or the river, or the sun
too many have been done
i can't write a poem about love, or breaking up, or jealousy
there's too many of those you see
i can't write a poem about kittens, or puppies, or little ones
the world already has tons and tons
beauty
done
hate
done
war
done
done, done, done


i've got one
i'll write a poem about the ones i can't do because they've already been done

#1447 wrong reasons

i love for all the wrong reasons
stronger than any right reason
each tic of the clock on the wall
is a win against the odds
according to logic
i should have played roullette with eight in the chamber
but then, that wouldn't be playing
would it
i'm here
and the more you hate me
the more i know i'm alive

#1446 valley visitors

there is no house on that mountain
and no easy trail to that non-house
i daydream about moving there
helping rare visitors find the answers
that pull them up the mountain
answers to questions that pushed them up the trail
i would need a beard
white
and white hair
and an old but ageless look

#1445 the river

barb fence and dew on the mountain
and a man bigger than life
lightning and thunder
in order of appearance
even the stars are scared tonight
relatives like me whose names are new to my lips
we follow the road
home

#1444 quaecumque sunt vera

there is nothing so true as great fiction
how can you beat reality
without the bias and nuissance of fact
truth is not in the second-hand, or the position of the planets
truth is not in the exact words, every uh and um
truth is not the precise location, not plotted points on x and y
it is the right location, it is the why
truth is not the number of people in the room, it is a room in people
fill the pages with lies until truth crawls out
she is persistent and unrelenting
and the page is a great truth-finder

#1443 ready or not

walk down the hall by yourself
and open our classroom door
i want to meet you
get to know you
we've been waiting waiting your arrival
longer than you have been
stop knocking and pull open the door

#1442 hiding hope with fake humility

you praise my creation
i smile and thank you
thinking about all the neglect
family, health, self
and i hope you turn my creation
into enough action
to make it worth it all

#1441 former

i am myself
alarm clock is my enemy
i'm so sick of waking up and doing right
i am me myself and i
but we've been better
all i wanna do is sleep away the days
and couch surf the nights
sick of fighting the same same fights
my shoulder blades ache from where the wings were torn out
sometime between adolescence and now

#1440 hope

he calls me Dad and he
looks up until is neck kinks
how do i grow 90 feet tall
teach me handiness and prowess and manhood
sell me the instruction booklet
give me the owner's manual
teach me to stay calm when he lies motionless
covered in hospital bed tubes
not everything can be fixed with epoxy and a hammer
for some repairs there is no right tool
just time and hope

#1439 lost son

empty sky
live and die
cry and try
the crib mobile pays simple soothing disturbing music
rain falls in the nursery
no sirree, yessirree

disappearing into this ghost of a floor
that was built from planks of love and hope
now carpeted in fears come alive
see me
see me

you are my son
like Dad's own cloud
i stand here in the night
waiting for a first word that never comes
how can i unhang these pictures, box these toys, paint these walls
live and die, empty sky
live and die, empty sky

#1438 surrender

zip your suitcase triple check your ticket
follow the road and all its signs
find the concrete nest where metal birds take off and land
set all you need on a conveyor ride that looks so smooth
carrying every thing through a black flap
behind which you have no control
her voice echoes with each back-and-forth swing of the flap
did you pack your own, did you leave them unattended
did you pack your own, did you leave them unattended
sometimes
leaving them unattended
is the best love you can give

#1437 scaring myself

speak my language
or at least
understand
know what i need
know the taste is my world
all i really need next to love
know that i'm not selfish or stubborn or spoiled
i just have a lot of learnin' left to do
your learning is a library
mine a cue-card
find patience when i flail and kick and scream
to tired to slip into sleep
too scared to settle down
swaddle me nourish me
and i'll try to fix this world

#1436 due

let me sleep here
a little longer
i promise i'll
come out soon
but for now
let me breathe inside
this here little womb

do not push
me out
let me float float
float
a little
longer
there'll be time enough for being out, when the comin' time a comes

rub these walls
from your next room over
wish me well
let me be
let me be
let me be free
your room's, responsibility

#1435 this spring

dust clouds swirl beneath my bed
similar to the
inside ofof my head
my mind needs a visit from a broom
not unlike this here room
the clothes that fill my closet
haven't left it since the last time i moved houses
and even then they were trapped for the trip in a box

#1434 fingers and hearts

hands speak a language if you let them
combination locks
telephone numbers
guitar licks
so does the human heart
if we let it
if we keep the brain from confoundifying things
like our fingers
our hearts can
open locked places
contact other people
and make music

#1433 protecting family

we shall sit around this table
together
we will break walls by breaking bread
together
we will share community
by sharing salad
together
the big box will stay dark
the little boxes will wait until dessert is done
we will ignore the excuses
we will fight to protect suppers together
together

#1432 when being a man was hard and simple

the world was shorter then
and taller were the men
raised by mothers with hearts 100 feet around
raised, by the whole damned town
men had dirt beneath their nails
obvious their wins, obvious their fails
now we have ties
that tie men in suits
suits that don't suit men
give them their rugged jeans back again
let them be men
let them wait in hospital halls
let them be men
let them not understand women's length of telephone calls
let them be men
give them problems that can be fixed with tools and with hands
let them be men
let them be men

#1431 underwater

eyes closed
i hold my breath
falling slow
underwater
in dry clothes

life
flashes before me like a perfect movie with some kind of twisted end

i hear the music in the water
the music tells me to float down
to let the ocean bottom pull me down
pull me home

then your voice screams
quiet and distant and murky
then louder, clear
kick, Kick, KICK

my eyes shoot open
i kick right,
kick left
kick-kick-kick

the light winches me up
on the power of your voice

#1430 before walking indoors to make the decision

standing on a balcony
all humans are my minions
they just don't know it
i watch them brush past one another
each hiding their own story behind vacant subway eyes

i can make them see
give me my front-page story
let them read my contribution
let me un-desensitize
let me show these dots, these ants

they give themselves away to devices
they forget what being human means
let me remind them
let me remind them
let me bring them home

#1429 when creep is a step up

alone
in a crowded street
no wife no
friend to meet
a bubble of silence in a sea of noise
i am worse than a creep
i am a nothing
i am the invisible "0" at the far right of the decimal
but i have no sense of place and i have no value
i am a not
i am in knots
thousands of my species
walk past
i am a crack in the sidewalk
happiness is a perversion right now

#1428 the note inside my head

one finger
one piano key
dah
dah
da
dah
scream
alone in a home for five
these walls are empty
this mind is bursting
with no one to save
save for the dead

tears are a luxury
that well is dry
cold stone
dark echo
dah
da-da-da

my parents are gone
i am
the bit of the candle left
both ends burned
da-da
da-da

#1427 objects in mirror are close, and so is fear

reverse the jetta out the drive
deliberate the shoulder checks

radio, kill the pedestrians left behind
drive the nights away and sleep for daze
childhood is a beautiful monster
who works in simple devious ways

so i count regrets like sheep on the screen of a child's mind
righteousness
fear
failure to act

highway highway, hug me somehow
stroke my ego, close my eyes
all
for a tank of gas
stroke my ego, close my eyes
highway highway, hug me now

#1426 jaw

my father's lip was bitten
sucking back words
bits of food from last night's supper
his jaw
invades the bodies
of tension and power

#1425 dessert

i thought love was a dessert
a pie or a mousse or a tin of cookies
so i filled my mouth
until crumbs spilled out my mouth
then i jammed extra into my pockets
while the people who loved me
watched
hungry

#1424 kryptonite

we were tight
you and me
tight like
like superman and clark kent
and we both know who was which
but while you and your cape were flying
i was writing
and writing
and writing

then your cape was torn and you fell
i failed to catch you
failed to see that your cape was the power behind my words, my glasses, my hands

#1423 acj

she stands 8 feet minus 3
tough as gravel, gentle as a new baby
she breaks boards and fights fires
she teaches all the little liars
her bark is big
but her bite is better
you ain't met no one like this
no not ever
she was a little-bitty weed
growing in a forest of trees
now she's a big old weed
and the forest begs mercy down at her knees

#1422 offspring

words one longs for
daddy's little girl
the quiet, protective look
daddy's little girl
words he never hears

#1421 the grass grows where her trailer once stood

your body is old
but your spirit walks backward
to when crosswords would not hold your attention
i see you walking backward
avoiding sidewalk cracks and looking for treasure

and i hope you find your treasure
and i hope you know you were mine

#1420 the lame punch line in the dirty joke

i wanna meet the an i could've been
the one with no regretted scars
the one who never hurt the hearts he loved
i wanna meet the man i could've been
i am a dirty joke and the lame punch line and he is the bible and the qur'an
i might look like a distant relative but i am a fraud
let me stand beside the man i could've been
should've been
let me whisper a prayer in his ear
let him show me the way back
to being a good man

#1419 sincerely, acoustic guitar

the strings might make the sound
but the hole makes the music
lets everyone hear the notes
and though it should look funny and out of place
the hole looks normal
because we all have our own

#1418 ben

i looked up to him
put him on a cloud and expected him to sit there
not to fall
but clouds have no solid substance
and so he fell
down
down
down
then i blamed him
how dare he fall when i put him up on such a high cloud
years later, the anger has evaporated
and he is my hero again
not because of the cloud, or the fall
but because of the way he bounced

#1417 forever

this baby is coming
and as excited as i am
the birth scares me
how much can i help
but more than the birth
is that minute
we walk home, through our door
the birth will happen
will have a beginning and an end
but parenting
lasts longer than the drive to the faraway hospital

#1416 just once

you can't do anything ten times

without doing it once

days off, days on

mean words, huge feats

there is no chance of a tenth time

or even a second

without a first