January 31, 2010

#300 remote controlled


refrigerator post-it notes
modern communication

electronic mail
used to be a driveway mailbox that lit up

we sit and stare at a a tablet-size brainsucker
we talk on commercials
talk about fake characters

turn it off: discuss ideas

TVs get smarter and smarter
live playback, flatscreen, surround sound
they get smarter and smarter
as we stare and they drain

January 30, 2010

#299 an old-fashion rural love

post-it notes on bathroom mirror
and in brown paperbags

now ironed pants
now cover wrinkles

a quinquagenarian love
his arthritic hand steadies hers

the scissors have been by the sink for forty years
and nail-clippers top drawer bedside table

she doesn't know it, but in three weeks
she will choose his coffin
quality, plain

and in three more
their eldest will choose hers
elegant, modest

#298 first house, carried across the threshold


when did it start, which second?
was it the second session
the second Jäger
or the second month of my second summer
then the magic of summer ended
and the sleight of summer continued
but only for awhile
love was a verb in the Sound
straining
misunderstanding
hurting
with our thoughts and cold touches
differences and indifference exposed
self-righteousness my wrong
and then
love was a noun
concrete
easy
comfortable
i was her pillow
the spot she wanted at day's end
and she my climbing harness
and i learned what safe falling was
some memories are mine
white towels and favourite smiles
some belong to canon
back-steps and pacific islands
others combine
waterfalls and cabins
until here we are today
the clichéd next step
and enjoying the cliché

January 28, 2010

#297 on grandparents dying together

every card is still
all are face-down
but for two
leaning, supporting, holding

in pighouse
some turns defy gravity
some falls are inevitable
sometimes falls pre-climax
some cards are exciting, some boring
some short, some drawn out

but the last two, they fall together
each dependent on the other
for purpose and for support
together

January 27, 2010

#296 now and then

when did it start, which second?
was it the second session
the second Jagger
the second month of my second summer

now the seconds are spelled in years
halifax and parry sound
and sights and smells
touch losses and gains
together on our separate sides of the bed
we take our forks in the road each day
and finish in a spoon
and the cow doesn't run away with the utensil anymore

why?
because she's in the bog with the others
where the hell is angus
the truck is rolling down the hill
and the boy is new to his second decade
he hits the clutch
besuse he's not a farm boy, not really
except in his blood
and because he can't remember which of Dad's feet stop the the Buick
inside his skuld the rusted farm Ford
good for dog-drives and haying season
slams the rocks in the river...

but outside his skull
collie runs with
hops in
applies the brake
whistles
not a relieved whistle
just a whistle
a soft jig

this was before the questions of the age of the house
before his love's middle names
but after the separate beds
in the pighouse era
and donkey
donkey-donkey-donkey

#295

there is a satisfaction to it
figuring out things that don't make sense
how is that getting power when the breaker is off?
why isn't the engine running?
what's causing that bumping sound?
a frustration,
followed by a satisfaction
a correlation in size
troubleshoot try troubleshoot try
repeat
and the more problems you encounter
the more solutions you learn
if only relationships could be fixed with a power tool

January 26, 2010

#294 in the walls

like the hum of the fridge
noticed only in absence and in disrepair
her specialness
there somewhere in my mind
for sure
but words fail
like last night's poem unwritten
her smile
brighter than fluorescent lights
but warmer than a candle's

January 20, 2010

#293 egal Pines angel

she gets off the bus two stops and one word before me
at Regal Pines Trailer Park
egal Pines as the sign has said since I started on the bus
no one is mean to her and no one is her friend
no one else seems to think she's beautiful
we spoke once since september
she asked if i had a pencil
i apologized
knowing 3 were at the bottom of my pack
she impresses no one but me
by not trying to
repeat clothes, no face paint
no 'pretty smell'
just her
doodling and sketching forever

January 14, 2010

#292 moving

a dog-eared love letter
in a coma on my closet floor
since the last time i moved
seven years
surrounded by corrugated cardboard and packing tape
i find space on the bed and read
i smell her neck
a memory
she mentions the trip to Dugger's
our first night at the cabin
and the song

i reach the end
neatly fold
walk to the latest box
pause
Adrienne calls from down the hall
flick the lined letter into a blue bag of paper
keep walking
leaving it behind
keep walking

January 13, 2010

#291 back to bed

a sound wakes me
if i weren't in canada
i'd guess a wounded elephant
but that the sound is less natural
i climb to my feet
lean forward against the second-story window
metal grinds by as sparks fly off asphalt
of course,
the plow



January 12, 2010

#290 decisions

improving humanity, is not one colossal decision
nor is it a hundred insignificant decisions
but always one decision, usually small

a kind word
staying up late to help a friend
turning the tv off to cuddle
speaking loudly, the words your little voice whispers

not being able to do something
is never an excuse for not doing it
too many regular people have struggled
against fact against doom against sense against the impossible
too many examples exist

the obvious and the famous
but also the unsung and personal
people we pray to for help
not on-your-knees-with-rosary prayer
but the invisible approval we seek
the face we see with our eyes closed
when decisions matter

January 11, 2010

#289 2 plates, 1 picture

two sticky matching plates sit on the table
a storm of boxes fills the surround ing room
the fork and knife lay in a 69 positiion on the left plate
the right one its mirror
masking tape and sharpie are handy
amidst the chaos
desert is eaten and music is played and dishes are packed
3 more mights to go
in the bed one story above

January 10, 2010

#288 reunion exposure

i align the moment in the view-finder
trot over to the empty space
warn them of the double flash
smile, smile, smile
and the digital sound and the disco flash
capture the faux moment in "virtual memory"
i'll see this picture several times over the next few years
and it will shape my memory of the event
all six smiles cover up my awkward feelings
the artificial light
the seleceted background
will convince me the day was sunny
and fun and happy

January 9, 2010

#287 inhaling









papers and bags
crown royal and a dead stomach
insert one piano key, deep
repeat
bedside table
cubby hole
and to his left of his tv chair
basement apartment
the smoke clouds
his visions and his adequacies
inhale and hold
take it all in

exhale and breathe
but never let it all out

January 8, 2010

#286 fix you

beneath the wrinkles
the white
the grouchiness
the high pants
and the low patience
beneath it all
is a baby
a boy
a teen
a confused adult
a son
a father
a neighbour
a lover
and a griever

#285 sunset terrace

the clock unwinds
like a child's tire-chain
your impeccable fashion
now polished wood

is your comfortable do-drop-in nature
of use at your new address
are the others there
the plainclothes people

keep the tea on mary
keep the tea on

#284 sliding

sometimes a kind word is the one that breaks us

i sit on a depressed couch
stare at the neighbour's roof
where snow sits 30 inches deep
has sat for so long
a roof covered in white darkness
but today, i look through the drip-drip from our eavestrough
spring's sun has arrived
water drip-drips in a symphony around the block
but a sickening scrape and a thud
clears the roof

the sun slides behind a grey cloud that wasn't there a minute ago


#283 roadmarkers

sufficiently different
to surprise people
especially family and friends
sufficiently different
to cling to an onlooker's memory
to become a 'this one time...' legend
sufficiently different
to instigate the question Why
sufficiently different
2/3 shy of crazy
1/3 beyond quirky

#282 viewfinder

i ignore most of the world
in a way at least
two square inches, all i see
and i think and i wait and i plan
to capture a world in two square inches

January 7, 2010

#281 hands of time


i look at my hands
they've changed
softer and older
when did i last look?
really look.
their maps of lines
is foreign to me.
i need to stop
to pause and look
more often
days disappear like daylight

January 6, 2010

#280 vedder

if i left
just left
what would happen
i'd leave an inconvenient address
but what would happen
really
i'm not talking about being missed by friends
more about society
would they notice
would i miss it


January 5, 2010

#279 oceans, mountains, and milk cartons

i drove, east to west
searching for home, inside myself
found an ocean in the mountains
upside-down, inside-out
reflecting my feelings of home

for others, everything's easy, clear, black-and-white
home is where the milk carton stays the same


January 4, 2010

#278 punching out











a ferris wheel revolving for repair, deserted exhibition field
instead of a tree, reaching for sun

punch-in, punch-out
punch-in, punch-out

moving like a June classroom clock
instead of a September kindergartener

punch-in, punch-out
punch-in, punch-out

energetic as a white Christian
instead of a black Baptist

punch-in, punch-out
punch-in, punch-out

caring like an underpaid burger-flipper
instead of a commission car salesman

punch-in, punch-out
punch-in, punch-out


#277 thinkings and sayings

whoever said 'best thing since sliced bread'
forgets how fresh and great unsliced bread is
now bleached to look futuristically white
only, the future is here
so the white looks normal

whoever said 'what goes around comes around'
never saw a kid die
innocent and unknowing
never saw that cheaters do prosper
and bullies do get what they want

January 3, 2010

#276 algonquin thoughts


where real thinking is done
each dip, my paddle creates a mini water tornado
just below the surface of the lake
dip-gurgle-swirl
dip-gurgle-swirl
answers come and decisions occur
but then tomorrow arrives
a return to the world
and what was simple and good
turns complicated and treacherous

#275 flicker to sleep

nocturnal street-lights flicker to sleep
the world commutes to work
dogs camp on couches under bay windows
and i shake my head head in disgust
and join the machine