November 30, 2009

#250 juggling and everything else

at first i fumble
and everything tumbles to the floor
slowly, impercepibly
i gain control
soon
it's four at a time, behind the back and under the legs

November 28, 2009

#249 drowning answers

business and business
numb my mind
numb my soul
a gin and tonic
hide the emptiness
my life
spend
drink gossip and dress nice
stay busy
don't question validity or authenticity
because you know the answer

November 26, 2009

#248 seduction

she draws me in
my laptop dance
her glow
temptress
offers nothing in everything's fashion
late night appeal

November 24, 2009

#247 here's to anxiety

the beer brings temporary relaxation
like junk food
and to-do lists
the ones where you star with things already done
imagined reward of a check-mark
the second is an error in judgement that leads to a seventh

#246 wwjs?

gold trim everything
expensive art everywhere, even the ceiling
materials and craftsmanship
second to few
and the man up front
the one in the expensive cape
preaches a sermon on humility and poverty

November 23, 2009

#245 Sunday

bibles with stiff bindings
sitting in a pew 3/4 to the back
quiet in the vestry
and don't
drop
the bread.
oddly,
the old-schoolers
are the only ones who stick their tongues out at priests.
sing a hymn to worship Him
who has abused so much
pain and war
love and consoling
suffering
suffering.

November 22, 2009

#244 fresh snow

the etch-a-sketch was inverted and shaken
no marks, all fresh
what did this valley look like before people and our buildings and our roads?
to look at one flake is to look at a world
and to look at a pile or a drift is to see another
tomorrow by 10am
the drawings will be drawn
but still there will be blank space
and still there will be kids gazing out the window behind the teacher's back
waiting for the 10:30 bell
wishing for gravity to let the minute hand fall to the 6

#243 one snowflake









darts left, fakes left
hovers
stops to ponder
swoops
floats
twirls
wonders
helicopters and spirals
down
always down
a battle of resistance and submission

not knowing that there is no end but the ground
like the trillion others

#242 return policy

all my thoughts turned to cheap confetti
my dreams transformed to plastic
my ambition is a name brand
my goals morphed into rotten carrots
how did i get here?

i've got the girl
the house
the job
happiness is the plastic in my wallet
and it fills its own void
in a numb and static cycle
how did i get here?

a phone call brings me to dirt
nothing my wallet can do
or my clothes or my status
i am an empty person in my empty world
where do i go?

#241 somewhere a clock...

time goes on forever
but hers is short
says the mouth above the tie and stethoscope's neck
time is short
what does that mean
as kids everything good takes a long time to come and passes so fast
her time is short
no
you can't say that
passing time
long time
time is short
killing time
wasting time
my time
our time
her time

#240 hubs breaking

maternal
social
first the potato peeler
now the after-school
cold decisions to be made
tickets unboughten
soft december snow sits
on shiny black headstone
a deafening introverted eulogy
chocolate cake behind the chair
they smile, polite
a weak story
but i will tell it
again
and again
and again
because that is what i can do
that is all i can offer

#239

pensandpaper and billsandcords
fill my desk, erode my contentment.
top up my anxiety, and empty my soul
clutter and stuff the recurring theme
interior and exterior.
clutter and stuff and stuff and clutter and chaos
i need
i need...
empty

space


November 21, 2009

#238 bullyee

they laugh
and so i smile
they poke
i smile
they trip and punch
i smile
i smile
i smile

do they know
do they care

they tease
i smile
i go home
i feel
i cry

#237 a fresh sheet

flapped and spread on us overnight
no one's awake yet
no wrinkles
no marks

the window sill
the lawn
the hedge
all covered

what is now a big white lump
was once the driveway's '93 toyota
that winter-spirit
was yesterday a 10 foot spruce tree
and that fluffed pillow in its ironed case
i'm sure was once a hottub

what was that noise?
i think they're getting up


November 20, 2009

#236 what did it look like before?

a grid of rectangles clutters the valley
and the slope of the bowl
has been knifed in places
top to bottom
neat, clean

dots slide on the spaces between rectangles
the bigger the space, the faster the dot
is this the where clouds are made?
boxes and dots puff out nascent clouds
that rise and join their ancestors

the center of the valley
a bullseye for boxes
the perimeter, more a scatter-shot of boxes



November 19, 2009

#235 darn needles

just let me finish this line says my girlfriend
surrounded by well-used needles
i DO NOT have a problem
those words travel miles, her lips to my ears
i go to bed
she stays downstairs
always just one more line
i complain about her addiction
but i benefit too
this year
she's knitting me socks

November 18, 2009

#234 stress and swimming

i can't eliminate the smell of chlorine
can't omit the stress
a shower only strengthens it
thinking about it enlarges it

November 16, 2009

#233 minimist

screw...
punctuation,
the articles
boringly unnecessary adverbs and adjectives
and
conjunctions









screw

punctuation
articles
adverbs
adjectives
conjunctions

#232 start with the kitchen sink


floors and my mind are clear
thoughts and belongings have found their place
stains and the nightmares rubbed out
coats all hung and priorities straight
dog hair and depression are memories
plants are watered and souls nourished
ready for guests and laughter
for sharing
for contentment of soul

November 15, 2009

#231 her

one window
that's it
the rest is black and grime and cold
that is my world
my window to the sky
shares the weather
shares hope and life
one window
that's it
but that's all i need
with my window
i can feel sorry for my prosecutors
my meals gourmet
my dreams real vacation
one foot tall, two feet wide
my view of life
my forehead tips back
passes my chin
and i live

November 14, 2009

#230 playing with others

a hand drum
a guitar
anyone have a capo?
a mouth harp appears from a back-pocket
and a girl starts to sing
a baritone moans behind her
accentuates the beauty, the femininity, of her voice
eyes close and bodies sway


November 13, 2009

#229 swimming

the black line hypnotises me
and the lengths lose theirselves
10?
12?
14?
the rhythm is overpowered only by the clean stench of chlorine
ever present
doubles in a shower

November 12, 2009

#228 inside the box

owns your living room
owns that thing inside your skull
hypnotizes, mesmorizes, euthanizes

jumping flipping surfing
our only channels for exercise
no time for friends and family
cleaning or accounting
running or swimming

22 minute bedtime stories for free
at a cost

#227 words fall

diary pages fall
as if in a sno-globe
floating fluttering
in a pseudo-perfect world
hit the ground
wait to be shaken upside-down

your words and your soul's secrets
made public without permission
and you're questioned about the life questions
you penned as statements

November 9, 2009

#226 mary-jack

her trailer once stood here
now nothing but a field
but with a reverent feel
like a vestry or a high-ceiling library
and though the trailer's gone
life reminds me of her
a radio left on for a pet
classy dangling jewelry
picking apples or berries
being told i know someone i don't
scrabble, holiday decorating, photo-filled walls
and then i'm in the field
and it reminds me of the reminders

November 8, 2009

#225 shock and grief


deserted beach pulls a girl
she walks walks
walks straight into the ocean
stops thigh-high
eyes still forward
feeling neither cold nor warmth
not wave nor grief
the body postpones feeling
knowing the risk of breaking
but soon a door will open and the storm will enter

November 7, 2009

#224 the casket

tell me who's dead
let me skip the back section,
the bishop's accolades.
childhood faces
stare from newsprint
scores of scores
old and new
tomorrow
today
and 1852

#223 seasons

a hundred and a half days ago
it was an overgrown hayfield
surrounded by infinite names of green
today
it is a meringue
surrounded by one white
next year
it will be suburban brown
the colour of progress

November 6, 2009

#222 written on the couch

do you believe the truth in your lie?
not only can you change the world
you will
but how
sitting in the couch receiving geostationary satellite signals
writing letters to friends
handwritten
will you lie in your truth
or will you lie in your truth

#221 frank

Peter built his church
and we build a highway
a tourist attraction
a town slept
and 100 never woke
did they hear?
think it was a dream?
how long did they live?
stories of gold never grow old
we played with nature
men digging man-sized boy's tunnels
and the mountain fell
the Natives would build a legend
a respected lesson
and we dig bigger tunnels
for paper
and build highways
for tourists and convenience

November 4, 2009

#220 similarities

hair in a garden
butter on rolls
nothing in her tea

beer in a bottle
butter on all trip-food
nothing else i can see

#219 constructive procrastinationing

laundry
cleaning
reading
studying
cuddling
cooking
fixing
procrastinating

November 3, 2009

#218 big little differences









the difference between action and acting
is the difference between hockey with a puck
and hockey without
the difference between a children's play and children's play
is a script
the difference between good teachers and good students
one pushes their students
the other pushes their teachers

November 2, 2009

#217 on age and time

time is like a train
so slow at the start of the ride
the adults don't understand how long "just one more sleep" is
but impossible to slow down when it gets moving
stuff flashes by and we can't go back
not on this ride

November 1, 2009

#216 jigsaw and her







the jigsaw puzzle covers half the kitchen table
a coral scene
bits of blue and pink and green
with their male and female parts and edges
concave and convex
she does 95% of the talking
90, if you count Mmhmm
i have two pieces in my hands
one mostly blue, the other mostly pink
and as they snap together
i dwell on how they fit because they are opposite

#215 on walking a trail

the black wet leaves are part of the path
black and transforming into ground
i awoke to smashed pumpkins
and a cold that laughed through my fall fleece
the next seven weeks will be cold and dark
the days will be so short they will be the longest of the year
then will come a decorated tree and a new calendar
snow-white snow
and blue-sky-blue blue skies
and the days will grow
shorter in feeling